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Nice guys finish last.?

Okay, this is what I dont understand. Every relationship I've had with a girl I've done almost everything perfect...I never fight, I never argue with them, I do little things just to show I care...Im a great boyfriend yet I always end up being hurt in the end...I cant seem to keep a relationship no matter how hard I try...But total assholes have women fall in love with them and want to be with them forever. Why???

Please, no immature answers...


when I said I never argue I didnt mean I'm a total push over...I stand up for myself when I have to but I dont make huge deals out of nothing.

Update 2:

Im NOT a "girly" "geeky" guy...I dont do whatever she wants because I'm a pushover I do it because I want to make her happy. Why am I getting bashed for trying to keep my girl happy and showing her that I care??? Its not like I follow the person I'm with like a puppy and do whatever they want...I just dont act like a dick...I try as hard as I can to keep them happy...

Update 3:

Like I said, I do romantic things for them like gifts and ect and we usually get along great but for some reason It still doesnt last...

13 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I am a nice guy and I don't finish last. I have had the same problems you have. I have lost women to the bad boys. I am not perfect, but I lead a good life. I am educated and stable as a person. I do not do smoke, drink, nor do drugs. Thanks to martial arts training, I am well disciplined and rarely get angry. Yet I have had women dump and reject me because I am "too nice". I have been accused of being too square or I don't get angry enough.

    Sadly some women see Mr. Nice guy as weak and have no backbone. They see him as some who will subserviant himself and will grovel his way into her heart and her pants. They don't see that being a good guy is a strength of character instead of being a sign of weakness.

    The main difference that set me apart from the other nice guys is that I know that being a nice isn't the same as being romantic and charming. Those invoke two different feelings. You have to learn how to light her fire and melt her heart. If you can do that on top of being nice and kind, then you will be miles ahead of the rest of manhood.

    Another thing too is never let getting dumped and rejected as being personal. It is always going to be her loss. If she can't appreciate what you bring to the table, then let the bad have her. There are other ladies to be had. Until the last woman on Earth dumped and reject you, there is always someone else.

  • Sang
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    thats because in the beginning some women arent ready to settle down with their life, they want excitement, fun, and mysterious, something they dont see often and that is when the bad boy's comes in. They see bad boys as security, tough, manly, and confident, . Nice guys can be hopeful sometime, but it just rarely turn them on because its something they see often. Like a person who care, support, ext..and that can be similar to parents. Nice guys can be boring, weak, shy most of the time. Women normally get abuse by the jerks, but they still want them, its because they think they can change their partner personality. When it actually doesnt work. So then, they learn their lesson and want the nice guys. At the end they realize they need to settle down with their life, needed love, comfort, kindness, respect, support..ext..and thats where nice guys come in.

    Some girl find it a turn off if you keep buying gifts for them, because sometime it makes them feel like dependent. When they want to be independent. I suggest buy and do romantics thing only its important time. Dont do too much because when its some important day, she will find it boring. She may want more things from you then gifts or romantic. Every girl has different taste

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I agree with the last guy, a real man knows when to draw the line. Women don't want a girly-man in a relationship, they want a real man. You need to wear the pants in the relationship, make them realize that they are with an alpha male.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Think about it this way, you will only have one relationship that does not fail. That mean you are going to have to date a few people to find that relationship.

    Nice guys don't finish last. You just need to move on and find the right girl.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    If you find out the answer, write a book. I'll for sure buy it and you will for sure get rich.

    People seem to really want what they can't have and appear to believe they have what they think they really don't want.

    See, it's a priority thing...they want 'thrilling' . . . like how thrilling will it be when they have to, "go see my bad-boy-bay-bay's daddy at county jail" on their way to the state office for our hard-earned taxpayer money to pay for their bay-bay's food and health care.

    Oh, yeah, t h r i l l i n g l y e x c i t i n g.

  • 1 decade ago

    Honestly.... Women like a man to stand up for himself. Confidence. Weakness is a HUGE turn off. If you really feel that you disagree in something.....DO NOT GIVE IN!!! Unfortunately the assholes do get the girl, but giving in to everything is a mistake. Sometimes a good disagreement can lead to good making up. Good luck sweetie.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Trust me, you don't want to be with a woman who can't appreciate a nice guy and the women dating jerks will soon regret it. There's someone out there for everyone; when you find her you will know b/c she will appreciate that your a nice guy.

  • 1 decade ago

    Well lets see you sound like my type of guy :) I guess girls like someone that roughs them up a bit. Seriously.... girls are weird . They usually want what they cant have and dont want what they can. Its not you. its us... theres really nothin else to tell. hang in there though, you sound like a sweetheart, youll eventually find someone.

  • 1 decade ago

    women don't like a guy that hasn't got a backbone! stop being a total push over! treat a girl good but don't always agree if you realy don't ... you can disagree without making a big fight out of it! :)

  • 1 decade ago

    I guess they want to feel that they have to work to keep you

    rather than them having whatever they want from you on a plate

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