What's the most important thing you can teach a youngster with Autism/Asperger's?

My 5 year old's come so far- He's talking enough I feel we can really relate now, yet it's still repetitive, says some things only meaningful to him, like "Hi what do you DO?" & "Service for an favorite for his life" He walks up & says this to strangers, I'm all glad he's interacting, & they hear that & give up on making sense of him.

I don't know how you get him to look over that horizon,

or how you teach boredom; he doesn't get bored w/ favorite things so he doesn't move on to learn the next thing. Neither do I really-I have asperger's too. (& so does 1/2 of NASA so there!) He can understand anything sufficiently complex if you show him. But how to relax & try new things- I'm not sure I know how to myself, let alone teach it, thru play or pictures or what.

People constantly & inadvertently remind me he's "impaired". If that's said, not to hurt but to get me to help him, then

How do I help my child?

How do I reassure my wife?

Or they trying to say things'll never be more-or-less Ok?

12 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    Based upon the above description your son is more PDD.NOS (autistic features, not enough to meet criteria) or HFA (high functioning, enough features to meet criteria, IQ not impaired). The echolalia is not generally seen in a 5 yr old asperger kid but I have seen it. Because he shows interests in others, and understands complex things he is high functioning.

    The perseverativeness can be improved by working on it. When he gets stuck for more than 10minutes intervene and make what he is doing more functional. Teaching a child to generalize information is time consuming and should be worked on frequently. Remember he has an above average fluid intelligence (reasoning) and probably is above average with his visual skills. To generalize an ex. for color recognition is that I take toys that are different and mix up the pieces. We have the blue blocks, with the blue stacker piece, with the blue fish ect.

    To help him enroll him in social skills groups. Do playdates. The anxiety is hard-wired. Teach him as many coping strategies as possible. Medication is an option (as a last resort).

    Have your wife learn all she can. Join the autistic society. I have gone to meetings and met adults on the spectrum (Stephen Shore, Liane Holiday Willey) talk about their experiences. I recommend reading "Why does Chris do that?" by Tony Attwood. Also recommend "The social skills picture book" by Dr. Jed Baker. It shows actual pictures of school aged kids and explains what is correct and why on a level that your son can understand. I also recommend buying many books from the AAPC (autism asperger's publication company)

    There is no reason to think that he will not live independently and have a full life. He may need some degree of support and you won't know that this early. I think that people that tell you he is impaired don't know a lot about what they are seeing and are concerned. Bottom line he is in pretty good shape. Some areas of development will require more "work" for you but other areas he will pick up with ease. Keep in mind that the progress you have seen in the past 2 years will continue over the next 2. Spectrum kids generally move on the continuum (for the better) from the preschool years to primary school age. My son at 4 it was very apparent that he was very different, at 6-7 not even a psychologist could point out the spectrum kid in the class. I have to remind our pediatric dentist (who has a large client base that is spectrum) that my son is spectrum.

    Source(s): psych nurse 2 of my 3 sons are PDD.NOS my father is asperger's (is a psychologist)
  • Maria
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    I don't think there is a 'most important' thing to teach a child. You can teach a child to walk and to talk, but things like right a wrong you cannot. They will learn this as they grow older. Just learn to trust your children, within reason. They will find out form their own mistakes. That is the only way a person can become pure.

  • 1 decade ago

    My son is 13 and has autism. He gets bored very quickly as he has a low attention span.

    He will not try any sports as he is contented with being on his own and finds it hard to relate to other children who are not like him eg have disabilities themselves not just autism.

    I felt that it was best to leave him at the moment then maybe he will be ok later. Your child is only 5 and has a long way to go yet so dont worry too much.

    You are doing the right thing in trying to help him and are very lucky as i never found out my sons disability was autism until he was 12 so at least you found out early.

    Does he attend a special school? these are wonderful places besides what other people think as the staff have the extra training to help your child to develop and be ready to face the world. At the moment my son is in his first year of his special high school and the teachers are amazing.

    The primary school ones are also and very caring and supportive not only to the child but also to the parents as they understand these things.

    The best thing to do if you are worried is to talk to a person who is experienced in this area or even a support group or government area for this disability for example in australia here we have autism victoria (victoria being the state i live in here in aus.) they are also a tremendous help. Not sure what you have in America that is of course if that is where you are.

    Good luck and hope you can work this out.


    ps if you want to talk you can always contact me through the message area.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago


    I also have AS, and I am now 28. I have worked with many children who have AS, and from this and my own experience, the most important message I think you can communicate to your son is that it's okay to be who he is.

    AS is not an impairment. It is a gift.

    I didn't realize that when I was going through school, and in fact never received a formal diagnosis or any services. But I have a very understanding and helpful family.

    Most of the time, I just needed to know that I was okay.

    And it's okay if your son doesn't get bored with things. Introduce him to new things daily, but don't require him to continue doing them if he isn't interested. If you are concerned about him spending too much time on an activity, set limits and let him know clearly what they are.

    If he persists, thats probably because it's going around in his mind and it's hard to distract him. In that case, enter into his world by talking about cars, or whatever it is that he loves, and then redirect him.

    Another thing too, as he grows, point out clearly the social behavior of others that he might not understand or notice. Tell him that it's how we talk to other people, and explain why that might be important, if you can, relating it back to his interests.

    As for your wife, just tell her the same things. There is plenty of opportunity for those of us with AS, and we are creative, so with the right tools and environment, we can pave our own paths.

    She could also take a look at my book, Raging Horrormoans, which is a reflection on my experience in junior high school, using some things I had written at the time. A preview is available by clicking through to the purchase page on my website


    Good Luck, and please contact anytime.



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  • 1 decade ago

    The best thing you can do for your son is this: Teach him to embrace life and recognize the value of each day, and how to take one day at a time.

    Life with AS is very difficult, and on top of the fundamental difficulty (of living with AS), then we have real life which causes further stress and difficulty. This is why most people with AS don't just have AS but several other disorders. It is too much to bear sometimes. Not that your son has anything other than AS now, but the likelihood of him developing comorbid conditions later in adolescence is very high, from what I understand.

    But yeah, sometimes our loads are just too much to bear and if he can learn to stay positive then he can make it through any obstacle that might be in his path. Take one day at a time because sometimes it is overwhelming thinking, "Hey it's only August!"

    Also embrace life because this is our only shot! We have to make things right because we may never get another chance to. This is our only chance and some of us have 80+ years to live while others have much shorter. Live each day to the fullest and live each day as if it were your last.

    And finally, hope for the best and plan for the worst. If he can do these things, he should have a prosperous life!

  • Kate
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    I work with adults with Autism and the best thing that they have learned is self living skills (daily care skills, cooking in microwave, cleaning the house, learning their ABCs, etc.). I would start there, if you want him to be as self sufficient as possible, teach him what he needs to live on his own. I know he's only 5 but it's a good time to start and have those skills mastered by the time he gets to be 18. This way, he can move into his own apartment and maybe just need 12 hours supervision.

    Also, I have learned that Austic individuals think literally. So trying to teach the concept of sorry, boredom, thankful, etc. is hard. Try matching it up with pictures as best you can. What might help is making a photo book with him about pictures of emotions or feelings that he might have. Include boredom and any other feeling you might think he needs.

    Good luck.

  • happy
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Kids with ASD's are in no way impaired, most of the time they see things in black and white and when you look at things from their point of view they usually make perfect sense. The most important thing you can teach a child with an ASD is that no matter what happens you will be there to love them and give them security. As for your son not getting bored with things my daughter is just the same but older. She has obsessions with one thing for ages but then suddenly it all changes to something else, at the moment it is the solar system! Just let your child go at his own pace as the more you try to push him the more he will resist. My daughter has taught me so much and I wouldn't change her for anything. Good luck.

  • 1 decade ago

    It sounds like you as a family have made great strides! I have not experienced this but have seen many on programs and in books children who have benifited from a having a pet to care for.I do not know if this could fit into your household plan or not. I do work on a very limited basis with children who have autism, some where able to be kind to pets and interact and some where to mean with them. What ways to calm him have you tried..we have one girl who will change when we rub her arm it calms and soothes her and then we can move on to something else. She loves books.

  • 1 decade ago

    Hi, not sure what to say. My friend's son is 17 with Asperger's and I know that it is a daily struggle for them. That being said, he's a really neat and interesting human being. He may not be "like everybody else" but that doesn't have to be a bad thing. Sorry this isn't specifically helpful but hopefully encouraging.

  • CCC
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    my auti child was not speaking that well at five. get used to the repetive thing and do not watch the cure bs. accept your child for who is and keep on doing what your are doing.

    my dd still surprises what she can learn and she graduated last year.

    you the parent must look over the horizon for him.

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