Cancer child hood friend dying?

My best friend is dying of cancer. She is giving with in a few hours, if not a day or two. Last few days, I been at the hospital and taken a break. She is on her way back to her house from the hospital. she said before, she wanted the comfort in her own home. Last week, that is when they found the cancer has came back and spread quick since her last surgury/check up 1 month ago. Gave only two weeks. won't even make that.

She is only 22 year old. Leaves behind two girls (3 and 5 next month). One boy in heaven due to the cancer treatments last year during her pregancy.

I want to be there when she passes, but due to financial and I live over 5 hours away with animals to care for and husband's military schedule with only 1 vehicle, I am having trouble being able to stay down here and then being able to come back down for the funeral.

Just looking for wisdom, strength, advice or any kind words to help her family, myself/friends and herself through this proces

Update:

Thank you all so far. I will relay the those kind words to them too.

"Maybe you could get your mom or a friend to watch your animals while you leave."

I have three horses and 1 dog. My mom has my cats while we are in military re-location moving (twice in 8 months...) to OK in September. (we live in Cali) as the cats are more "non travel type" for long hours at a time. We will fly them later on this year. We have a neighbor checking on our dog when they can (we don't trust the rest neighbors). All my family is over 5 hours away.

"Maybe you could take the bus?" I can't take a bus 5 hours away nor can hubby. But I do appreciate the questions as some questions could be never thought of before.

10 Answers

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  • .
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Im really sorry for your future loss.

    My dad died of cancer just 2 years ago and my brother it also cursed with cancer.

    I know your friend must be scared and sad. But there IS a part of her that wants to go and be with her child in heaven. Dont feel to bad about her dying, she wont want you too. Im sure you've been a fantastic friend to her and she doesnt want you to suffer and be completely depressed. Months before my dad died and we were in the hospital I heared him say that he WANTED to die because of all that he was going through. There wasnt a smile on his face for months. He died of lung cancer because he smoked heavily ever since he was 14. He lived to be 64.

    Since her children are so young this will be a tramatic experience for them. What you can do for them is just write them some letters of how you remember your friend before things got bad. Like little stories of your fun adventures together. Then they will have some kind of reference of how she was. Pictures would be really nice to send to the kids as well. Whatever memories you have you can share with the kids. Let them know that your there for them and they can talk to you about anything.

    Thats about all I can say. I know it will be really hard for you. I know what your going through. Im 14 and my dad died when I was 12. My grandma died last year in May. I felt like crap when those incidents happened but I know that they wouldnt want me to mope around. Heaven is supposed to be better than earth. So dont be sad because shes going on this super cool permenant vacation. Think of her visiting her favorite place in the world and then out pops jesus with an invitation to stay in his pimped out castle forever with pools, jacusis (sp?), and ice cream. She'll be happy there and you wouldnt want her to be looking down at you crying your eyes out right?

    ;]

    I hope you get through this. I know you will and so will everyone else. She'll be in a better place! Just remember what I told you!

    truely sorry for your loss.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I'm really sorry to hear that your friend is going through this and the family as well. I think it is wonderful that you want to be there for your friend. Another thought to the pets thing pet boarding. It may not be the most luxurious places for them, being that our pets our just like kids to us, too, but in these circumstances since it's an emergency type of thing, maybe look up pet daycare services, sometimes it's not well known, but you can do a search for one locally. Being military ourselves, we've traveled plenty and 6 hours is probably the farthest I've driven by myself (from Killeen, TX to Leesville, LA) to visit family, so if you and your hubby are driving together, you can split the drive. You'd be surprised how much worth the drive it will be.

    Another thought is that if in your local area there is no pet daycare services offered, whether by a business (e.g.: vet, grooming services, training schools, etc.) or privately (a neighbor's kid, teenagers looking for summer job is a biggie, etc.) look up and see if on the way to your friends if there's a daycare or boarding school. If anything, you drive with your pets (except the horse, of course, no pun intended) part of the way and pick them up on the way back.

    I hope all works out, you do what you can to be there, otherwise, try to schedule a time where you can be there after to help with the kids and be a support to her family. They will appreciate that just the same. God bless you and I will keep you in my prayers that all works out well.

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  • Piper
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    It could be a psychological defense mechanism. (Which is the official psychological term.) Usually that comes around when you cant let go of the negitive things in the past, but I suppose that it could be either way. NO, I wouldn't want to go back to elementary school, or middle school- because life was pretty awful for me during that time. BUT I would love to go back to high school in an instant. I think about it all the time. When things were simpler... what things I'd do different..... etc. BUT THEN AGAIN< NAAA.... Being an adult is about finding your passions, and dreams and pursuing them. You have to find your purpose- see a goal. Life as an adult is, and can be just as exciting as your childhood was.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    That is so sad. I am so sorry to hear that. It sounds like your are in a tough situation, because you want to be there but you can't leave your animals. Maybe you could get your mom or a friend to watch your animals while you leave. Maybe you could take the bus? Just some suggestions, again I am sorry to hear about your friend. Try everything you can to get there.

    Best Wishes..

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Just think of her all the time and send her blessings that she will be going to a better place very soon. All of her pain and suffering and endurance will be over. Just think of it that way. Send her family a comforting sympathy card. Her angel will be crying up in heaven, tears of joy, tears that symbolize all you've done for her. You seem like a wonderfull friend, bless the lord.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Hire someone to take care of the animals. Let your husband have the car. Stay with your friend, she may need someone to help cook, take care of the kid, and a shoulder to cry on. Stay with her, beside once she passes on there there is no going back, what if's won't help you.

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  • Bailey
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    That's tough and I am really sorry. Just know that no matter what your spiritual beleive is, once you die, you don't feel anymore pain, and you don't suffer. The people who suffer are the ones who are left behind. You can never replace the memories you had with your friend, and she needs the suport right now. Just be by her side and love her.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I don't know if you believe in God... or if she does... but I know that miracles can happen... my mom was in the hospital about 3 weeks ago when her blood sugar went up to 1600... the doctors said that 500 is the danger point... she was just about in a diabetic coma and doctors called us to get to the hospital right away because they said she wouldn't make it... but with our faithful family..... she did.... she had hundreds of prayers going out to her and God heard them all.... maybe take her to a miracle/healing service... people can pray over her... the holy spirit is so powerful.... It came into me last night when everyone prayed over me and I was completely set free from all my emotional problems... I'm only 18, but I've seen miracles happen.... just keep on encouraging her and tell her she doesn't have to believe what the doctors say..... she can be healed! please please please tell her to keep hanging in there and KNOWING that she'll get better.... I'll be praying for her....

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  • 1 decade ago

    This is a message to her from me: Never lose hope or faith, and just know that someday you will be in a beautiful place. You will be in my prayers, and I give you my sympathy.

    Message to her family from me: I know this must be terribly hard. Everyone must go someday, and she is such a great woman, that God wants her back. She will be going on vacation, and will always keep watch for you, and will keep you safe. I will keep you and her in my prayers, and it is NEVER too late for a miracle. My sympathy.

    Source(s): own experience
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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I am soo sorry to hear this, i can't imagine what u are going through. just be strong and have faith...wish i could help in some way

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