I've been in similar situations. Telling her will only result in drama (which you don't need as a pregnant woman) and he'll be pissed about it. I know that you've made the decision to keep your baby with the expectation that you will probably have to do this alone. I am in a similar situation, pregnant by a volatile man, and I've decided to keep it, but don't expect him to step up, even though he is starting to come around now.
Telling her will not help him to break the ties with her any more quickly to come to you and will actually probably cause him to resent you for telling her. Especially when you're dealing with older people, they tend to see us younger girls as being spiteful or dramatic when these things happen.
My opinion is to wait for him. In the meantime, enjoy your pregnancy, make your plans, live your life and don't expect him to be involved. Chances are, when the baby is born, he will love it. If by then, he is not free or interested in having a relationship with you, take him to court for the child support. You should absolutely do that no matter what, to ensure that your child will be provided for. If she doesn't know by then that he's cheated, then she'll probably find out when you slap him with the law.
Telling her now is not the best time. Take care of yourself and your baby first. Karma will catch up with him soon enough.
23yo female, pregnant, the "other woman" in a previous relationship
· 1 decade ago