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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Arts & HumanitiesOther - Arts & Humanities · 1 decade ago

Hey Everyone! I need URGENT help with a scene for a Script - PLEASE help! Thanks?

Whoever can finish this line, well, i'll be the happiest person on the planet because I've had writers block for over a month now.

A couple, Michael and Yvonne Watt, have been married for 20 yrs. She's English & he's American & she hates his guts & thinks he's not good enough for her, but he is always tolerant. They've had a hectic adventurous night, escaping from a serial killer; being in a car chase & surviving death-defying situations & now they've discovered an underground passage. Michael tries to make conversation by saying "Where do you think this leads". Yvonne turns to him and says "You know what Michael, I don't know. But ........."

Her line has to be absolutely true; real and emotional. She is exhausted & is completely & utterly at a loss with herself. The line has to tell the audience the relationship is definitly over, for good, but shouldn't be nasty. Just emotional & real. Michael will look helplessly after her when she says it. It has to be sad & tragic.

Thanks

Update:

No no, the film is nearly over. This is the last moment Michael & Yvonne will be together alone before the Finalé fight sequence, in which many characters die. Their relationship storyline intertwines with the main storyline & this is the second last scene for them to express their opinions of each other - Michael will get seriously injured in the fight & willl almost die, & Yvonne will be spending Christmas Eve without her husband for the 1st time in her life - it is then that she will have to decide whether she wants him or not and she does. Deep down, she does love him.

Update 2:

No no, the film is nearly over. This is the last moment Michael & Yvonne will be together alone before the Finalé fight sequence, in which many characters die. Their relationship storyline intertwines with the main storyline & this is the second last scene for them to express their opinions of each other - Michael will get seriously injured in the fight & willl almost die, & Yvonne will be spending Christmas Eve without her husband for the 1st time in her life - it is then that she will have to decide whether she wants him or not and she does. Deep down, she does love him.

Update 3:

She's just not very good at showing it that's all!

Update 4:

It is a feature Hollywood Film that I'm writing & that I 1 day hope to see become a Box Office Smash hit across the globe! It's called "The Night Before Christmas" & Cast members include Jack Nicholson; Jack Black; Juliette Lewis; Bette Midler; Jane Fonda; John Cleese; Eddie Murphy; Maggie Smith; January Jones; Adam Brody; liev Schreiber; Robin Williams; Chér; The Rolling Stones; Sharon & Ozzy Osbourne; Tommy Lee Jones; Eva Longoria; Jim Carrey; Leslie Neilsen; Alison King (U.K. Soap Actress, in Coronation Street); Cuba Gooding Jr. & Martin Scorcesé as the voice of a fluent-in-English Parrot called Patrick! I'vewritten the parts for the Actors & Actresses already & hopefully 1 day, they might bring these characters to life! Kristin Scott Thomas and Oliver Platt will hopefully play the two leads: Michael and Yvonne Watt, who are in the scene above!

Update 5:

Yeah RunningB! I've done the research! It's so complex, you know, the editing & the layout, you know the way it has to be EXACTLY the way they want it done, font; spaces; margins; etc.! It's tough alright, but I've tought myself! I have around 30 oages left to write & that will bring it up to 570. Then I'll have to edit it - this is not a Submission Script - it''s a Shooting Script, hjence the length! It's those Discriptive Passages that take up most of the paper space, you know, scenes that would only take a second to show on screen, but take 1/2 a page to write! Oh well, i'm gonna keep sloggin' away at it for now anyway! Glad you like the sound of it!

BS

3 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    "You know what Michael, I don't know. But wherever it leads, we won't be having sex there or anywhere else ever again."

    "You know what MIchael, I don't know. But when you find out, you'll be single."

    "You know what Michael, I don't know. Your brother might know. I'll ask him next time I sleep with him."

    "You know what Michael, I don't know. Go f*** yourself over there."

    "You know what Michael, I don't know. But let's get a divorce now so that if I die gruesomely, at least I won't still be married to you when it happens."

    ...?!

    Sounds like you've chosen the wrong moment to have your characters talk about a big relationship problem.

  • 1 decade ago

    Keep it simple.

    "Where do you think this leads?"

    "Nowhere."

    Then, if that's not enough, "It's a dead end, Michael."

    Then, as she leads him grimly towards that dead end; "Come on."

    But just 'nowhere' could be pretty effective on its own.

    ADDITION: Wow, that's pretty ambitious! How many pages is it? I hope you've done your homework on the screenwriting craft, structure, layout and stuff - it's a tricky business! See the articles at

    http://www.writersstore.com/articles.php?type=Expe... if you ever need help!

  • 1 decade ago

    "You know what, Michael? I don't care. There was a time when I would have cared, but those days are over."

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