one more revision of my poem; i think i finally nailed it; what do you think?
your touch, your voice, gave me so much more than pleasure;
effortlessly, broken pieces came together
shattered self, painful past, jagged edges, fixed and set,
to my amazement, liquefied, melted, warm and wet
a deep calm came over me, all was well and right
an unimagined dawn after a truly endless night
with you, I somehow knew, I didn’t need the show,
the heart learns fast, but the mind is slow; I knew, but didn’t know
that moment when potential yet unborn
comes to life and crystallizes into shape and form
shimmering perfection, in the palm of my hand
I just wanted to give you something
but you didn’t understand
my true wishes went unspoken
a new and fragile bond created, strained, and maybe broken
my words inverted, I misspoke; the writer couldn’t write
I sighed, determined: I’ll fix this tonight.
the water crashed, the music played
the waiter brought me more champagne
that book I read, still in my head,
my new ‘friends’ enjoying my pain
the type men leave
soft and sweet, stupid and weak
stand up, get up, and change.
I saw your face, and in that instant knew;
it was my past that drove me now; it wasn’t really you.
but I couldn’t keep up, things went so fast
and then I was alone.
now I look back and ask, What lessons did I learn?
I’m still confused, I’ve paid my dues; what it is that I’ve earned?
Congratulations; in an ironic twist of fate
you’ve managed to become the type of woman that you hate.
Yes, I know, its just a show, its not really me
that girl, in another world,
the type men love, a different breed
so much gained and lost, all in just one day
stars misaligned, the wrong time,
I don’t deserve
I must accept
I can’t forget
such great cost, the heavy price I pay
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
it's... BRILLIANT! it was full of emotion and pain and really pulled the reader into the poem. however, even though it was really good it is still fuggy for me to understand what exactly the poem is suppose to be about, sorry but i guess i missed it.
- 1 decade ago
I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!