How can you get a three year old to stop holding his pee pee on the toilet?

We've been working on potty training for almost a month now and he still won't go on the toilet. He sits there for an hour at a time and holds it but then as soon as we let him off he'll go and pee in his pants. We don't put pull ups on him anymore except at bedtime. We've tried all the tricks with cheerios, food coloring and reading books. We've even tried bribing him. Nothing is working. We're afraid he's going to get an infection from holding it for too long. What can we do?

5 Answers

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    My sons loved to pee standing up. Watching what was happening helped to connect the sensations and they developed control. I found a sturdy stool with sides for the toilet so they could stand right over a real toilet like their father.

    This made all the difference and was well worth it. For pooping, I put toilet paper over the water to eliminate splashing. My sons loved the independence and they felt completely comfortable--which was huge.

    Hope this helps.

  • 1 decade ago

    What are you doing having him sit on the toilet for an hour at a time and forcing him to hold it? This is one of the problems that you are causing. The more you push the more he will resist.

    What do you do? Give him a few minutes, if he won't pee while on the toilet, that's fine. While you're taking him there give him his choice. Tell him that he either can pee in the toilet or not. It's a simple choice, so make sure that you don't care one way or the other. If he doesn't pee in the toilet point out the natural and logical consequences of that. When he pees in his pants you can tell him that because he peed in his pants he is wet, he needs to change his clothes, and he has to postpone play time. These are the things that naturally follow if he doesn't use the toilet.

    The biggest thing for you to do is to be firm, fair, and consistent. Don't threaten him, punish him, scold him, or get upset at him. If you do that he will resist it more. I mean, do you want to cooperate with someone who is being a jerk to you?

    Stop having him sit there for so long. That's neglectful on your part and just stupid. I promise that he won't go to kindergarten not potty trained. Stop bribing him as well. He's smart enough to know that it's manipulation. When he doesn't use the toilet, that's fine. You still love him and will treat him the same. When he messes his pants just say 'oh, that's too bad. Maybe you'll get it next time.' Remember this isn't a power struggle between the two of you. If you make it one you won't win.

  • 1 decade ago

    My daughter was almost 3 1/2 before she was fully potty trained. He may not be ready yet, it is a power struggle many times. When he is ready to go, then he will do it.

    I use to tell my daughter that she would not be able to go to school if she did not do 1 & 2 on the toilet. I would really hype up the going to school, playing with kids and all that they would do. That motivated her to start going and she really loves school now that she's in it.

    Good luck, it can get very trying! Been there.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    He obviously wasn't ready to potty train. He has no clue as to what to do on the toilet. You're bribing him isn't getting you no where because he doesn't know what the toilet is for. Now that you've started you're going to have to continue, just be patient when you sit him on the toilet and the day he does do something on it let him know that that is what the toilet is for. You're telling him doesn't make it understandable...he doesn't know what "pee pee" or URINE is and he is too young to equate urine with toilet.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Try turning on the tap, the sound of running water might make him want to go if he has to do it.

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