Elaine S asked in HealthMental Health · 1 decade ago

I have a daughter who is almost four years old. She was sexually abused at church by an older kid recently.?

We did everything we could talking to the church leaders and talking with our daughter. We know this happened many time before we found out. People are telling us not to worry about it because she wont remember this later on. But she has dreams about it and talks to us about it. And on the days that she does she is really mean to her 5 month old brother. She has bit his arms until they bleed, last time she scratched his face, neck arms and hands until they were bleeding. I want her to talk to someone but she wont talk to people she doesnt know. I dont know if I should listen to the people who say dont worry about it or try to get her to talk to my psychiatrist since she knows him. They say she will just get over it but I dont know if thats true, and I dont know how to keep her from hurting her little brother. She also has started throwing stuff and will also hit me and her daddy. Please help.


Just to let yall know, its not like I didnt report it to the proper authorities. I atleast know that much. But there isnt much they can do since there is not a whole lot proof about it since we didnt find out right away. But it has been reported.

12 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    Corona is right she may forget about it conciously but it will always be there and will affect her behavior and trust forever. You need to take her to a child therapist , it may take more than one because she needs to feel comfortable with them. Nothing will take her pain away but therapy will help her understand how to deal with it. Good Luck my heart goes out to you.

  • 1 decade ago

    Like everyone else is saying you need to get her professional help. From personal experience I can tell u she will remember when something like that happens it just does not go away. She is lashing out because nobody is doing anything. She needs to know and be shown that u will do what ever it takes to protect her and help her heal. She may not talk to a therapist right away give it time. I pray that u and ur husband make the right decision.

  • RB
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    She won't just get over it. The people telling you that are trying to protect their church and it's integrity. Take her to a children's psychiatrist and file a report with the authorities. The child that abused her needs help also and by either you or the psychiatrist reporting this happening, he will get the help he needs. Good luck and God Bless.

  • 1 decade ago

    In every person there are both god and demon.And,when the power of demon increases then he do thus hinus crime.Actually,we have become too much modernized that most of the parents have no time to see that what their childern are doing in the society?Also,some time we do those un-lawful and anti social activities(i.e kissing, touching some parts of the body or watching adult movies) in front of our relatives that we don't do if we want to keep clean and healthy atmosphere around us.Because, our children would do or copy each and every activities which we do.Also,it is impossible to forget this incident.In my opinion,keep her busy in some creative activities for a better physical and mental development. And as soon as she would grow up gradually she will forget all these non-sense things with due to course of time. And do not allow to enter bad persons in your house and be very careful and keep your eyes open while she is doing or talking with strangers and don't leave alone anywhere.Have strong faith in almighty God,he is the saver and well wisher of all of us.

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • Corona
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    The people that are saying she won't remember, and she will get over it, are idiots. Take her to your psychiatrist, or better yet, a child psychatrist. Even if she doesn't talk for MONTHS, she will eventually start talking. Then the healing will start. Don't sweep this thing under the rug. That's what those people are wanting you to do. I hope you pressed charges.

  • 1 decade ago

    Well, Sorry for what happen to your daughter. as i see, It is a night mare for her so i don't think she can just get over it that easy, or she will never get over it. When you lost your trust on other is hard to be able to trust again.

    she need help. should keep trying until you find some one that she can feel the trust and want to talk too. wishing you with lot of luck

  • 1 decade ago

    Perhaps the reason she is lashing out at her brother is because she has now turned against males because of that experience. You need to seek help for her because otherwise she will never recover and for the rest of her life, sub-consciously, she may hate males forever and never be able to trust one again. This could wreck all her future relationships if she remembers about it and is suffering.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Four year olds can remember things and if she talks about it, it is stuck in her head.

    She may never forget it, but you can take her to some one to talk to. Let her get to know the doctor then she will talk to him/her about it.

    It will help her move past it some, but she will probably always remember it.

    I had a similar experience when I was about three and I remember it so clearly.

  • 1 decade ago

    The people who are telling you not to worry about it are idiots. Sexual abuse leaves a mark on any child, and five years old is definitely enough to have lasting memories and damage.

    Talk to a professional. Ignore the idiots who are telling you to ignore the sexual abuse against your daughter.

  • ?
    Lv 4
    3 years ago

    Any allegation of abuse from a baby would desire to be taken heavily, notwithstanding in case you think of they could be mendacity. Its not a sort of "gray factors". I artwork in Early early life guidance and that's what we are experienced to do: a million. We tell them we've faith them. it quite is the main needed element. 2. We tell them that it is not their fault. no person, certainly no person, for notwithstanding reason, ought to try this to someone. 3. We on no account justify the abuser's behaviour. We in simple terms touch the right government (CPS) and proceed to enable the baby comprehend we are there to assist them. we don't belittle, nor can we help, the abuser. We look after a supportive indifference. we are there for the baby. Now, in order that which you comprehend- exposure to sexual textile is seen a sort of abuse (in that it effects their minds and thoughts), and it ought to okay be the source of this concern- yet don't be afraid to chase this up. touch somebody at CPS and tell them what you instructed us- each and every element, inclusive of which you have have been given had the indoors maximum factors communicate, and that she has seen some sexual textile in the past. solid success. EDIT One answerer reported making use of a digital camera and leaving him with the baby. it quite is ill and disgusting- an endangerment of her risk-free practices, god, thats in simple terms incorrect. in case you experience any hint of sexual abuse in any respect, then the final element you will do is go away the baby on my own with the suspet, no count number how distant the liklihood of being an abuser. constantly. TAKE. IT .heavily. Too many abuse cases pass un-observed because of the fact human beings prefer to "ascertain" or "wait slightly" first. Or they think of a baby is mendacity. No, you tell somebody precise away, notwithstanding if its in simple terms a expert help Line.

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.