Anonymous asked in Business & FinanceCorporations · 1 decade ago

should i email my old boss and tell him how firing me has ruined my life?

he let me and another co-worker go because they wanted to be able to afford to hire an old employee back. since i live in VA, i cant do anything about it.

since then, and might i mention, he fired me the week i returned from unpaid maternity leave, i have lost one of our cars, almost been evicted, lost my medical insurance, and am about to have to live in the one remaining car we have. there are 4 of us living on 1300 amonth. rent is 819. you do the math. we got another summons today for rent, and we cannot pay it. we will be evicted.

should i email him and let him know how he has ruined the lives of four innocent people so he can get his bonus this year? he told me as i left he hoped it wasnt an "inconvenience". no, losing your job isnt inconvenient. losing it with a newborn is.

p.s i dont need him for a work reference so what i say isnt going to effect anything


fyi my husband is working two jobs. neither of them pay much and despite our desperate job searching, nobody is hiring where we live. he is a chef and the one good job he ran across wouldnt hire him because he has credit that has anything to do with cooking...

12 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    While I can certainly understand why you would want to do it, let me ask you a question first: Will it change your situation, or get your job back, or get a new job for you, or pay any bills? Will it do anything constructive at all?

    It won't educate him or make him behave differently in the future. He knew that you had a family when he fired you. All managers know the impact on lives when they fire someone, and terminating a position is one of the most dreaded parts of management.

    Even if you don't need a reference from him, you'll find that this is a small world, and you might cross paths with him--or with someone he knows--another time. I left one company to go where I thought no one would know me, and found several former co-workers there. One of my former co-workers--who I often clashed with--joined the same company a few months later, and then I was promoted to be his boss. Now I own my own agency, and I have clients who were former peers, direct reports, or co-workers. It's a small world.

    Send an e-mail won't even ease your emotional pain. I understand that you are hurting inside just as much as you are hurting financially. By firing you to make room for someone else, he said that he values you less than the other person. He doesn't even seem to care. Saying these things out loud (or writing them on Yahoo! Answers) is a good start to the emotional healing process, but you'll need to go further. Always remember that he can only make judgements about your WORK, not about YOU. YOU are NOT your WORK.

    You have an intrinsic value that he can't change. That intrinsic value is what your your husband, kids, and friends see, and that's why they love you so much. When you come to grips with that, and learn to put the previous job behind you, then you'll be able to let that intrinsic value shine more brightly, and you'll be able to move on to a new job. It is a long and difficult process, but it's the only way to heal. Sending an e-mail to him is like picking at the scab, which PREVENTS healing.

    I wish you the best as you move forward, and you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

  • Tim
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    Only if it makes YOU feel better. It won't make a difference.

    You need to get out there and find another job. Your husband/boyfriend/baby daddy needs to get a second job.

    Bad things happen to people through no fault of their own. I was there at one point. Fired on December 7th because the owner of the business was doing a crappy job and he needed more money. Try finding a job around Christmas, it is tough. I took whatever I could and worked at night, while still out there during the day trying to get work.

    I started a buiness doing the same thing as the company I was fired from. Since then we have grown, I have been able to buy two rental houses out of state and will be retiring next year. I'll be 48 years old.

    It can be done. You will look back in a few years and laugh about the hard times and your kids will not believe you that you went through all you have to tell about. Just take whatever work you can, two or three jobs and you can get through it.

    By the way, the company I was fired from. They are out of business. Karma, I believe in it.

  • 4 years ago

    Wow.. it's really hard to give really good advice here because eventhough you try to explain, over the internet you can never really get detailed enough, so my advice would be to seek some form of couples counseling. But I just want to say that this whole dynamic between you two seem alot like how my mother and my mother were and still are around eachother(before and now even after the divorce). My dad will try his best time and time again, and when things go a little sour or times get tough he always tries his best to make everybody around him happy, but my mom just nevr appreciates it and really treated him like dirt through a long periode of their marriage(they were married 20 years), and it has really driven my father to the ground. He now suffers from stress and high blood pressure, and I know it sounds bad but I think she has a little to do with it as far as never being satisfied. But I think the first thing you should do is go to somekind of couples counseling, and just try to communicate to eachother what bothers you. There is nothing wrong if talking, it's free. And I think you have to remember that at the end of the day you have to be happy. It's not okay if just one of you is content. You both have to be. It's all about giving really.

  • 1 decade ago

    I know that what you are going through is extremely hard, and I also know firsthand about being done an injustice. Believe me, even now, there are some work-related people from a job that I had lost that really deserves much more than just a nasty email, and I have to fight with myself everyday to keep from doing what I want to do, and what I know is wrong, but yet justified. I know how you feel, but also, and believe me, even if you do email him, he will not care. Just know that no matter what, God is with you, and He will pay the ones back that wrong you. Believe me when I tell you, God can do much better of a job at getting vengience for me than I ever could. Please, just bite your tongue, and hold off. What comes around really does go around, and if you old boss did you a wrong, especially you with a newborn, he wil get his, and in a most bitter way. Don't worry, he will have to pay for anything that he does wrong to people. He won't get away with it, believe me.

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  • 1 decade ago

    As tempting as it is, don't do it.

    If his conscience doesn't make him feel bad, a rant from you won't do it either. And it won't really make you feel better in the long run - only getting your act together and getting on without him will do that.

    There is always the risk with this sort of thing that he'll find it utterly hilarious and forward it to all his contacts for their amusement. You may not need a reference from him, but you may well want to work for one of them at some point in the future, and once these things are out there they never, ever go away.

  • 1 decade ago

    Don't contact him. If by some chance later down the road his car or house gets vandalized you will be the first one they will come look at as you are a disgruntled ex-employee.

    Hang in there. Things will get better.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Focus your time, enery and efforts to find another job to pay rent and bills, and buy food etc. Forget about the past "inconvienience," put it down to bad exprience/dream. Good luck.

  • Sara
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    I agree with "Tink" - not to sound mean, but he probably won't care all that much, you know? Since he did fire you and someone else to get an old employee back....

  • Jenine
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    why would you?? get over it and move on...that is how the business world works, my sucks, yes...absolutely, but i'm sure he could care less and he's DEFINITELY not going to do anything about it, so why waste your time and energy??

  • 1 decade ago

    NO NEVER.... i will pray for you that you get the better job .. and then you mail him thanking that thanks for firing me so that i understand how much oppertunities i had out there.. other wise i will be finishing my career working wid you...

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