The simplest, surest way to get a Mick Huckabee laugh is to quote him. Speaking to an NRA group he said:
"I'm pretty sure there will be duck-hunting in heaven and I can't wait!"
When asked if Jesus would have supported the death penalty, he said: "Jesus was too smart to ever run for public office...that's what Jesus would do."
After he was asked for his position on miniskirts: "If a person dresses provocatively, they're calling attention -- maybe not the most desirable kind -- to private parts of their body."
And his opinion on Medicare: "If you think that Medicare is expensive now, wait until 10,000 aging hippies a day find out they can get free drugs."
Think about Huckabee Foreign Policy opinions. For an ambitions pol what Huckabee doesn't know about world affairs is a lot. And here's the reason why--the Iraq war is like Dancing with the Stars:
"The point I'm trying to make is that, on the campaign trail, nobody's going to be able, if they've been campaigning as hard as we have been, to keep up with every single thing, from what happened to Britney last night to who won 'Dancing with the Stars.'" (Huckabee said to explain why he was unfamiliar with the National Intelligence Estimate on Iran's nuclear capability.)
What Mike doesn’t know about Foreign Policy is matched only by what he doesn’t know about science:
“If anybody wants to believe they're the descendants of a primate, they're welcome to do it.”
Try Huckabee on domestic policy: "I have opponents in this race who do not want to change the Constitution. But I believe it’s a lot easier to change the Constitution than it would be to change the word of the living God. And that’s what we need to do is amend the Constitution so it’s in God’s standards rather than trying to change God’s standards so it lines up with some contemporary view of how we treat each other and how we treat the family."
And here's Huckabee's simple answer to the nation’s energy problems: "We ought to declare that we will be free of energy consumption in this country within a decade."
People find it fascinating that Bill Clinton and Mick Huckabee are both from Hope, Arkansas, and were both elected governor of the state. It caused one wag to remark: "When Mike Huckabee became governor of Arkansas, the portrait of Bill Clinton in the State Capitol erased itself to get away."
Although he did better than expected during the 2008 Republican Primary season, Huckabee was regarded by many as a joke because he seemed to make his positions up as he went along. Conan O’Brien was one of the first to burst his bubble:
"During a Republican debate, Mike Huckabee got a big laugh when he said that Congress has been spending money like John Edwards at a beauty salon. Then Huckabee got an even bigger laugh when he said he's running for president."
If you need an easy joke about Huckabee just give some details about his recipe for braised squirrel--a dish her remembers warmly in the video above. Here’s Jay Leno's comment:
"Republican candidate Mike Huckabee said, when he was in college, he used to use a popcorn popper to fry up squirrels. They'd fry up squirrels and eat them. And people thought this would hurt him in the polls. It turns out, in South Carolina, went up 30 points."
And it did ....
And, just in case you miss the menace in Huckabee humor, just remember where Mike Huckabee is coming from: On January 17, 2008, in the lead up to the South Carolina primary, he gave his opinion on the issue of the Confederate flag, which was removed from the dome of the South Carolina State House but still remains on the grounds:
"I know what would happen if somebody comes to my state in Arkansas and tells us what to do, it doesn't matter what it is, tell us how to run our schools, tell us how to raise our kids, tell us what to do with our flag — you want to come tell us what to do with the flag, we'd tell them what to do with the pole."