Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 decade ago

when and how to meet the kids?

I have been dating a widow for a bout a year now. He hasnt really told anyone he is dating cause he wasnt sure of what people would think. His wife committed suicide and it has been hard for him but I have stood by and been patient. I really love him and because of the circumstances we have had many long conversations and time just getting to know one another. However at this point our relationship cant really progress unless the secret comes out and we see each other a bit more out in the open. The biggest problem is he has three kids. the oldest being 9 and he worries about what is the "right" way to introduce me to them. I love him very much and I just want to help. I worry they will hate me cause Im not there mother and not sure how to deal with it or on the other hand they may welcome me with open arms cause they see I make there father happy. Im just very confused and hope I am doing the right things. Any ideas anyone?

4 Answers

  • Sup!
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    He will need to talk to the kids and his family first. Make it VERY clear to the kids and the friends and family that you you are not there to take over and be the replacement mom. Just dont take over. Be the girlfriend and like a friend to the father. Dont hug or kiss or spend the night till the kids get to know you better. Dont rush it. Just let it happen and dont do anything unless the kids friends and family make the move first. Still keep seeing him away from his kids, freinds and family so you can be alone. After a while you will get closer and be more accepted. Then be more affectionate around his loved ones. Have him disapline the kids and dont start baby sitting them right off the bat. Go on dates that involve the kids. They are part of the relationship too. :-)

    Source(s): When you are Mommy number two.
  • 1 decade ago

    Do not try to hard, and as horrible as it sounds you will at one point or another hear this phrase "you are not my mother". Just be as patient with the kids as you have been with their father. It is important to give them space and time.

  • 1 decade ago

    First he needs to tell his kids. "I've been seeing a women, and I'd like you meet her." Honestly though, they may not be happy about it.

    Be nice, don't tell them what to do. At least there are ways to not sound like you're telling them what to do. Think more of a friend then parent.

  • 1 decade ago

    make dinner for everyone.. and try to convo with dem... show him that you ur ready to be in the relationship no matter what...

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