I hate my life, I hate everything...please help me?
Mom is a drunk, dad is an ahole. They argue, take it our on me, dad mentally abuses me so much I feel like SH*T every single moment of my life, they don't let me leave home. This has caused another chain affect on my life where I have no real close friends, I can't hang out with any of them because of my parents, I am quiet, shy, and always anxious because I have next to no social skills..all I ever here is b*tching and screaming from my parents.
I have no one to talk to, I am completely alone...every girl that has ever had a shread of interest in me lose all there grip on me when they find out who I am. I have moderate acne, without a doubt because of my stress/ depression, and this hurts my self esteem 5x more.
What am I supposed to do...I have 0 motivation in my life, I don't even want to do good in school, I just want to sleep, never wake up...all the time....I am to the point where I hate socializing now...
My parents disallow me to seek help..
Please help me, what should I do
I AM 17 YEARS OLD
- Anonymous1 decade agoFavorite Answer
Re- program your emotional responses. Hate is a strong term; reduce it to: "I dislike myself, and my life, at present". This allows for the possibility of change. Realise, and accept that YOU are the one who programmed your mind, and that YOU have the ability to re-program it. See the tips at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris in section 2, particularly those in the mental-health-abc and conquering stress websites. Use the negative thought reprogramming technique, and read page 2L. Recognise, and challenge your negative monologue (self talk). Make a conscious commitment to being positive, and optimistic, even if it is apparently unrealistic, or inappropriate, because of the benefits it will provide, later on. WORK, to change yourself into someone you can think much better of. See sections 38, and 47, and volunteer, even from home, at first, to provide a solid basis in reality for the daily affirmations: "I am a good person, who is valued by my community, because I (insert activity here)". As one insightful (paraphrasing poetically) person put it: an affirmation, without foundation is just mental masturbation. Read: "Lift your mood now." by John D Preston, Psy.D. 2001, New Harbinger Publications, Inc., 5674 Shattuck Avenue, Oakland. CA 94609 http://www.amazon.com/ may be worth trying for this, as it has a good section on building self esteem, using a different approach. You can also learn to use the EFT, in section 53, several times daily: "Even though I dislike my current life situation, I deeply and completely accept myself". Consider taking up yoga, or t'ai chi. A multidimensional approach to treating depression without medication follows. All except for no. (6.) are safe to use with medication, but not St. John's wort, because of interactions, and it's sensible to check out anything else first with your doctor. (1.) Take 4 Omega 3 fish oil supplements, daily: (certified free of mercury) it is best if consumed with an antioxidant, such as an orange, or grapefruit, or their FRESHLY SQUEEZED juice. If vitamin E is added, it should be certified as being 100% from natural sources, or it may be synthetic: avoid it. (2.) Work up slowly to at least 20 minutes minutes of exercise, daily, or 30 - 60 mns, 5 times weekly. Too much exercise can cause stress, which isn't wanted when dealing with depression. (3.) Occupational therapy (keeping busy allows little time for unproductive introspection, and keeps mental activity out of less desirable areas of the brain). (4.) Use daily, one of the relaxation methods in sections 2, 2.c, 2.i, or 11, and/or yoga, Tai Chi, and/or the EFT, in sections 2.q, 2.o, and section 53, at ezy-build whichever works best for you (and stress, motivation, and acne are addressed in sections 42, 28, and 13). (5.) Initially, at least, some form of counselling, preferably either Cognitive Behavio(u)ral Therapy, or Rational Emotive Behavio(u)ral Therapy. (6.) As options, if desired, either a known, effective herbal remedy, such as St. John's wort, or supplements, such as SAMe, taken with a vitamin B complex which is certified as being 100% of natural origin, or Inositol (from vitamin and health food stores, some supermarkets, or mail order: view section 55). Also, 80% of people in the Western world have low magnesium levels, and these are known to cause depression & anxiety. Try the magnesium supplement types shown in http://www.real-depression-help.com/ Some of these will be available in pharmacies, or supermarkets. An improvement can be noticed in as little as a week, if a deficiency is the cause. Also, iodised salt is preferable to regular salt.
(The following is a variant of EMDR therapy, which has been used successfully for those people suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, insomnia, and anxiety: it is easily learned, quick to use, yet can be very effective. It is easy to be dismissive of such a seemingly unusual technique, but give it a good tryout, for at least a few weeks, to see if it is effective in your case.). Prior to using either of the methods in the above paragraph, first sit comfortably, and take a deep breath. Then, without moving your head, move your eyes from the left, to the right, and back again, taking around a second to do so (say: "a thousand and one": this takes approximately a second). Repeat this procedure (without the words, although you can count, subvocally, if you like) 20 times. Then close your eyes and relax. Become aware of any tension or discomfort you feel.
Then open your eyes, and take another deep breath, and repeat step one, closing your eyes, and relaxing afterwards, in the same manner. Then, repeat the procedure one last time. Some people may find that this is all they need do. With experience, you may find that you can practise this in public, with your eyes closed, which greatly widens the window of opportunity for its use, and avoids attracting unwanted attention. I have found that the 2 - 3 minutes spent using the EMDR markedly reduces distractions to the relaxation process, and is repaid many times over.
Start a mood chart/thought record, and record all negative thoughts. Whenever you notice a negative thought, record the mood (disappointment, sadness, frustration, hopelessness, anger, etc.) and rate it, from 1; the lowest, to 100; the strongest you have ever felt. Have 3 columns, and in one, write down the thought. For example: Mood: Lonely: 90/100. Thought: "I feel like I will be alone for the rest of my life". Then, although this can be painful, it is very important; record every piece of evidence in support of this: "I am alone right now. I have been for some time. There is nothing to prove this won't continue". In the last column, write down all the evidence refuting this: "I used to be fairly sociable, and enjoyed being with friends. Change is inevitable in life, and nobody can state the way things will be in the future, for sure". "Most people recover from depression, in time, and I rarely felt lonely, until becoming depressed". Then read again what you have written. Give it a moment, to let it sink in, and rate that mood again, possibly putting it in brackets, and/or in a different color, but try to stick to a standard practice, for greater ease of review, later. Example: Mood: Lonely: [70/100]. Maintain, and review it regularly, as a record of progress and a means of encouragement, taking it when you see your primary mental health care provider. Replace "shoulds", and "ought to" statements with: "I feel ..." ones. View www.verbalabuse.com Visit your school counselor regularly: they have no right to stop you, but maybe state what your parents said, so the counselor won't contact them, worsening your home situation.
- 1 decade ago
Ok I know what kind of situation you are in, believe me. I'm in something very similar. In fact, a lot of people are.
First of all, I would suggest talking to this with your highschool councilor. They can provide a lot of private advice and it will let you blow out some things you need to talk about. You NEED to talk about it because it really relieves you and helps you process things better. If you can't find a highschool councilor, or anyone close and trust worthy, try teachers. Else, try hotlines, they are private and usually don't show up on phone bills. When I say hotlines I mean teen hotlines or suicide hot lines (doesnt always mean you are suicidal). And no, sex hotlines don't count and will charge you lol.
Second, you must realize that this is just a small part of your huge life. Yourself won't change, but situations will which changes other things.
Self-esteem is extremely important. Please please please talk to a councolor about this. Trust me, growing self-esteem is a very very long term process. never a one day ordeal. Once you move onto college, talk to their councilors. When you are 18, you have more rights and less dependent on parents. More information could be kept to you (unless its about harming).
If you have an idle mind that likes to wonder off into negative thoughts... its kind of hard to just stop it. Read a book. Books are excellent!!! even self help books you can find at barnes and nobles or the library. Barnes and noble has more updated stuff but libraries probably have more information.
Btw try seeing a dermatologist about acne. They can prescribe some really good medsSource(s): :-)
- ♥SummerLv 41 decade ago
Get a book at the library about social anxiety and natural depression cures and try to get a job any way you can. Save up money for a car and rent for a place to live, so when you turn eighteen, you can be somewhat stable if you move out, which I suggest you should if one of your parents is an alcoholic.
- 1 decade ago
Screw them. Talk to someone at your school (like a guidance counselor or friendly teacher). If worst comes to worst, go to the police. I know that sounds extreme, but they might at least be able to give you some advice or even get social services to give your parents a wake up call. Good luck. Don't let your parents issues affect you. Please try to talk to people. I have friends who are in a situation similar to yours and I welcome them over whenever they need to get away. Find some good friends, confide in them, and ask them for help. Don't worry. It's not the end of the world. You can get out of this. None of this is your fault. But you have to help yourself. *hugs* ♥
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- 1 decade ago
finish school then get the hell out of dodge! Wait to finish though or you will regret it. Sounds like you have your head on straight for someone who has already gone through all this. Once you graduate you can get a job and move out (maybe find a roommate to help split the cost of living because it is not cheep!). I am so sorry you are going through this, you can e-mail me if you want to talk! Good Luck!Source(s): Trinityphoto225@yahoo.com
- 1 decade ago
you definitely should get help tell your school counselor anyone no matter what your parents say you should get help try to find stuff that makes you happy maybe listen to music that usually helps me when you dad mentally abuses you appear there but just tune him out it might be hard but i believe you can do it tell your parents in a calm way that you want to go do something instead of just sit at home. i hope this helped you
- penny pLv 41 decade ago
I am a mother of 4. Parents get cought up in life and all of its sucky stuff. Maybe try to sit one of them down and cry and say " I am unhappy, I cannot take you fighting anymore. It hurts my feelings to see you two so angry. please can we try to be a family? Or mom please stop drinking and play a game with me. tell them you feel alone and try to use the word feelings. People respond better with that. You need to start taking care of yourself too. Get some hobbies...running takes care of stress...working out to feel better and get buff to look better. Above all make sure you shower every day for the acne. just use everyday antibacterial soap on your skin it dries out the grease. Good luck and believe in yourself. I believe in you. PS life is what you make of it.
- 1 decade ago
gosh...i'm so sorry life at home is so bad. the one thing that sticks out at me is you could join a youth group at your local church. it would be very good for you and you'd make lots of new friends...not to mention someone in the church to talk to and lean on for moral support. hang in there sweetie and i hope your able to find someone who will listen..
- Anonymous1 decade ago
i'm not very social either so i can relate a little. If you want someone to talk to you can email me :)
- 1 decade ago
When your 18, move out, screw them.