renee asked in Pregnancy & ParentingAdoption · 1 decade ago

My boyfriend is 18 and was adopted and is trying to find out who is birth mom is, any help please let me know.

his name is Eric. he was adopted at birh. and was born in Florida. he is 18 now and his birthday is September 7,1989.


Eric was adopted at birth and was born in Florida on September 7,1989. His real mom has tried to get intouch with him but his adopted mom has ripped up all the letters and won't tell him anything about her. how can he find out on his own who she is?

34 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Here is the information you need. I'm sorry you got some useless answers. Yes, it is possible for your boyfriend to search and yes, people find each other all the time despite the outdated sealed records laws. Start by reading here and applying for info at the address given:

    Register and search on reunion registry sites. There are several but here's a couple of the most successful to start with:

    Find a search and support group. There are many people who know the ropes who will guide and help you for free.

    Many resources and helpful links here:

    Wanting to search for the truth of your origins has absolutely nothing to do with our love for our adoptive parents - I can't believe the answers you've been getting here; although it doesn't surprise me! It's just the kind of crappola that stopped me from searching for so long.

    I am happily reunited with my mother and sister and luckily my adoptive parents did not have the bad attitude demonstrated by some of the folks here - they are thrilled for us and not in the least bit threatened, our relationship is solid. Ignore the insecure people who think they own their adoptees. You can never have enough people to love in your life and searching for your roots is the most natural thing in the world.

    Best of luck

    ETA: If Eric's mother has tried to get in touch then that's a good sign (I'm sorry the adoptive parents are unsupportive) But we live in a society where adults are supposed to have the freedom to associate with whomever they choose. There is nothing to stop two consenting adults from communicating with one another and don't let a bunch of people on Y!A? tell you otherwise. Go for it - she's probably anxiously waiting to hear from him and the fact that she's attempted contact shows that rejection is unlikely. I'm sure she will be able to answer a whole lot of questions for Eric.

    Source(s): American Adoptee in the UK
  • 1 decade ago

    Renee- Its good you want to help him but there are several things he needs to undertand before even thinking of finding his 1st mom, Does she want to be found, when shes found will it be the experience he wants or will she reject him, Will his parents understand his need to find his birthmother or will the be hurt and think that he doesnt love them. Things like that are hurtful yes but need to be thought of very seriously and he needs to talk to his parents and let them know hes gonna look and that hes not trying to hurt them by doing so.

    Then he needs to get any info he can on what hopsital he was born in, birth certificate, the county he was born in, which adoption agency he was filed thru. And then and only then can he finally go searching. He can try petitioning the local courts in the area to let him see his birth records, but its a long process sometimes and the birthmother might fight him against it. He could try one of those reunion adoption sites where the mother puts up her name, then the child does and they meet eventually that way, but most of them cost money.

    Other then that I cant really give you more advice as I am also still debating if i wanna find my first mother or if like she has is going to continue to fight me for my birth records.I wish you lots of luck, best wishes and alot of patience cause its not going to be easy. Just stick by him and be there for him when it gets frusterating and seems there isnt going to be a happy ending.

    Good luck to you both.

    Source(s): Given up at birth, adopted at age 2, now a parent whos struggeling with the choice of finding 1st mom or not.
  • 1 decade ago

    Does anyone on hear have any compassion today?

    Heather gave you some good resources...I suggest you start there. I am so sorry yo had some rude responses. I wish you all the best of luck in his search!

    Source(s): adoptive mom
  • 1 decade ago

    Horrible, horrible answers.

    He does need to do all of the following, but in this order. If his BM has tried to be in touch with him, it should be rather easy.

    Contact the agency that handled the adoption. Request to have a release of contact info put in the adoption file. She may have already done this.

    This is a FL specific search registry. Start here, if she (BM) knows anything about searching in FL she will have already registered.


    register with

    Good luck

    Source(s): search angel and reunited adoptee
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  • 1 decade ago

    I am so sorry you got so many lousy responses! I wasn't going to answer this one but you deserve an apology from some of these jerks! I am sorry your bf is dealing with this too - how sad for him. Heather's response is full of good suggestions. I wish your man the best of luck finding his first family. I hope he finds the answers he needs. Good luck and don't let the meanies get you down!!

  • Xiomy
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    I'd travel to Florida and start at the vital records department of the town where he was born. Try to get as much information from the adoptive parents as possible before you travel. Good luck!

  • 1 decade ago

    Oh. My. GOD.

    I cannot believe how many horrible, useless answers you got!

    Please don't pay any attention to these fools.

    Just follow Heather's advice. She's the #1 Answerer in this category for a good reason.

    I'm so sorry you had to be inundated with such drivel.

    Best of luck in your boyfriend's search. Thank you for helping him.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Please ignore the morons around here today. Heather has given you some valuable links! I just wanted to say how sorry I am that people are being so ignorant and dismissive of your boyfriend's desire to be reunited with his natural mother and that he is very lucky to have a caring and supportive girlfriend!

    Best of luck!

    Source(s): Reunited adoptee and natural mother waiting for her son to turn 18 so she can look into his eyes again.
  • 1 decade ago

    Does he have his birth certificate? If not he can go to his local social security office and request a copy. He can then go to the hospital where he was born to request medical records or other things. I am not sure what the retention policy is for Florida, Texas is only 7 years, so they may not have them anymore. However, you can always obtain a copy of the birth certificate. Also, he can be in contact with the adoption agency and they should have that on record as well. Alot of people who put their kids up for adoption keep current numbers/addresses just in case.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    well im sure his adoptive parents know where he was adopted from the agency, and he can look it up there. BEST OF WISHES TO YOU TWO. and if he finds out his mothers name, try using yahoo yellow pages to look her up. my bf was looking for his dad and found him that way

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