Can anyone please tell me some funny athiest or god quotes saying god isnt real?

i am opening a speech up with a quote but what quote is funny and very meaning saying god isnt real?
Update: haha o and another thing god isnt real just like to clear that up look wait wait hold up do this for me get all your friends ... if u have any besides god who is obviously real and go around the room and look for him if u can find him then tell me but until then u can suck on my balls
Update 2: wait correct me if i am wrong but the other day i went into the library to get a book this is wollongong library a main library and asked the library assistant umm do u ahve any books on god and she replied arr yes we do follow me to the fiction area FICTION AREA and unless i am mistaken fiction isnt real so umm... show more wait correct me if i am wrong but the other day i went into the library to get a book this is wollongong library a main library and asked the library assistant umm do u ahve any books on god and she replied arr yes we do follow me to the fiction area FICTION AREA and unless i am mistaken fiction isnt real so umm unless some little kid decidded to switch the books around then wait wait i wont tell u the answer try and use your brain wait it god replaced by god so use your god to find the answer as he has answers to everything, doesnt he?
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