Kit asked in 社會及文化語言 · 1 decade ago

幫我改文..20分~~~thx

d文法有冇錯.?

表達ok ?

5分滿分.你俾幾多分 ??

The film is about the film’s producer, Morgan Spurlock, who not only wants to show the adverse effects of eating fast-food but also raise the awareness of people towards eating fast food .

To find out the damages of eating McDonald's meals, Morgan Spurlock have to eat three McDonald's meals per day in a month and must agree to super size it when anyone ask him .

After eating McDonald's meals a few days later, Morgan’s weight gain is massive, his drop in health rapid. Despite warnings from doctors and nutritionist, Spurlock decides to continue the experiment.

Eventually, he gained 11.1 kg .He also experienced mood swings and liver damage.

After watching this thought-provoking documentary,

I was reminded the adverse effect of eating fast food.

Under the influence of eating fast food frequently,

It will led to our health be worse that is beyond our expectations. Moreover, I have known the tricks that advertisings use and the hypnotizing effects of advertising cannot be underestimated.

Morgan Spurlock impresses me most.

It is beyond doubt that Morgan Spurlock is a brave and out-standing film’s producer nowadays, of course, I appreciate him very much. Since, the message of his movie has reminded that we have to take responsibility for keeping bad food out of our mouths. What an educational film he made.

I like the fantastic and educational film very much .it raises the awareness of people towards eating fast food.

Although the McDonald's meals are the irresistible appeal towards some people, we must be clear to reject the fast food at a sub-conscious level.

I would like to recommend this film to my friends. As the film is though-provoking and spreads a sense of health.

3 Answers

Rating
  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    The film is about (a) film( ) producer, Morgan Spurlock, who not only (tries to) show the adverse effects of eating fast-food but also raise(s) people(’s attention to it).

    To find out the damage( ) of eating McDonald's meal( ), Morgan Spurlock ha(s) to eat three McDonald's meals (a) day (for) a month and (he) must agree to (up-size) (them) when (being asked).

    After eating (the) meals (for) a few days, Morgan’s weight gain is (substantial / drastic / dramatic... etc.)(yet the condition of his health drops rapidly). Despite warnings from doctors and nutritionist(s), Spurlock decides to continue the experiment.

    Eventually, he gain(s) 11.1 kg .He also experience(s) mood swings and liver damage.

    After watching this thought-provoking documentary,

    I was reminded (about) the adverse effect of eating fast food(, which

    may led to health failure.) (It can be much worse than we expect). Moreover, I have (always) known the tricks that (advertisers often) use and the hypnotizing effects of (these advertisements) cannot be underestimated.

    Morgan Spurlock('s act) impresses me (a lot).

    It is (no) doubt that Morgan Spurlock is a brave and out-standing (man). I (admire) him very much (as the movie he made has served as a reminder) that we (are responsible for our own health and should stay away from fast-food). What an educational film he (has) made!

    I like the fantastic and educational film very much .It (has brought people’s attention to eating too much) fast food.

    Although the McDonald's meals are (irresistible to most people), we must be (clear-headed enough) to reject (or say no to) (such) food (sometimes).

    I would like to recommend this film to my friends. As the film is though(t)-provoking and spreads (a message about the importance of health).

    2008-05-18 01:15:12 補充:

    I THINK YOUR ESSAY IS QUITE CLEAR AND WELL-ORGANISED OVERALL. HOWEVER, THERE ARE SOME WEAKNESSES IN IT. FOR EXAMPLE, SOMETIMES YOU FAIL TO USE ACCURATE VOCAB, SO THE PASSAGE SOUNDS VAGUE IN CERTAIN AREAS AND SOME MAY EVEN BECOME CHINGLISH (IMPROPER CHINESE ENGLISH).

    2008-05-18 01:16:34 補充:

    THE APPLICATION OF CONJUCTIONS IS QUITE OK, BUT THE GRAMMAR USAGE IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH IN COMPARISON. IT SHOWS THAT YOU HAVE NOT FULLY UNDERSTOOD WHAT ENGLISH GRAMMAR IS ALL ABOUT.

    ON THE WHOLE, I WILL GRADE YOUR PASSAGE 3/5.

    KEEP IT UP!

  • ?
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    Morgan Spurlock have (has)to eat three McDonald's ........................when anyone ask(asks) him ...................his(he) drop (drops)in health rapid(rapidly).

  • 1 decade ago

    OK 

    good

    我俾4分

    冇錯

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