The difficult question of divorce. The truth no one exposes about Matthew 19:9 (Christians read and learn)?

Religion holds a lot of people in bondage with divorce. I read people explain that the only reason for divorce is unfaithfulness. They quote Matthew 19:9.

What about divorcing because someone is molesting your child, domestic violence, or other extremely disturbing things outside of unfaithfulness. People would have you believe God wants you in these kind of situations.

In the Bible God has divorced us (Jeremiah 3:8;) but took us back.

Look at Matt.19: and you have Pharisees trying to test Jesus and he told them the correct answer first. God doesn't divorce at all. The Pharisees were functioning under the law of Moses. They asked Jesus about the Law of Moses.

He said Moses permitted divorce not God, he places a but in the statement "it was not this way in the beginning." God is the same today, yesterday, and forever. He doesn't change. Just like in the beginning He didn't want divorce. He still doesn't. What has happened most of us don't ask God should we marry so-in-so.

Update:

Jesus in Matt 19: is reciting the law of Moses. We are not living under law. (Romans 10:4) That law doesn't apply to us.

***Interested in reading your responses***

16 Answers

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  • BJ
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    God, the Originator of marriage, designed it to be a permanent union. But is there any Scriptural reason for a person to divorce his or her mate, and one that would allow for the possibility of remarrying? Jesus addressed this matter by declaring: “I say to you that whoever divorces his wife, except on the ground of fornication, and marries another commits adultery.” (Matthew 19:9) Sexual infidelity by a mate is the only ground for a divorce that will allow the innocent mate to remarry, or the death of the husband or the wife..

    In addition, the Bible’s words at 1 Corinthians 7:10-16, while encouraging marriage mates to stay together, allow for separation. Some, after trying very hard to preserve their marriage, feel they have no choice but to separate. What can be acceptable Scriptural grounds for such a step?

    One is willful nonsupport. When getting married, a husband assumes the responsibility of providing for his wife and children. The man who willfully fails to provide the material necessities of life “has disowned the faith and is worse than a person without faith.” (1 Timothy 5:8) So separation is possible.

    Another is extreme physical abuse. So then, if a mate physically abuses his wife, the victim may separate. (Galatians 5:19-21; Titus 1:7) “Anyone loving violence [God’s] soul certainly hates.” Psalm 11:5.

    Another ground for separation is the absolute endangerment of a believer’s spirituality, one’s relationship with God. When a mate’s opposition, perhaps including physical restraint, has made it impossible to pursue true worship and has imperiled the believer’s spirituality, then some believers have found it necessary to separate. Matthew 22:37; Acts 5:27-32.

    However, if divorce is pursued under such circumstances, one would not be free to enter a new marriage. According to the Bible, the only legitimate ground for divorce that permits remarriage is adultery or “fornication.” Matthew 5:32.

    The Bible allows only one reason for getting a divorce that frees a person to remarry, and that is fornication (Greek, porneia, gross sexual immorality). If fornication is committed, then the innocent mate may decide whether to get a divorce or not. Matthew 5:32.

    After telling the Pharisees that the Mosaic concession of divorcing their wives was not the arrangement that had prevailed “from the beginning,” Jesus said: “I say to you that whoever divorces his wife, except on the ground of fornication, and marries another commits adultery.” (Mt 19:8, 9)

    Marriage involves two people with differing personalities learning to develop common interests and working together toward common goals. Marriage is a lifelong commitment, not a casual agreement that can be lightly abandoned. In many countries, divorce is not difficult to obtain, but in the eyes of a Christian, the marriage relationship is sacred. It is ended only for a very serious reason. (Matt. 19:9) Christian spouses can avail themselves of wise counsel from the Bible, support from fellow Christians, and a close, prayerful relationship with God. A successful marriage endures, and over the years, it brings happiness and contentment to husband and wife. More important, it brings honor to God, the Originator of marriage.

    Source(s): Reasoning
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  • 1 decade ago

    The pharisees were trying to trick Jesus by asking if one could divorce for "any " reason...actually "no" reason. Jesus said -"No". There were 2 schools of thought on this in Israel at the time. One school taught that you could divorce for no reason, while the other said you must have a valid reason. Jesus said you must have a reason and he listed unfaithfulness as the reason. We must remember that Jesus was not talking to born again Christians, but he was talking to Jews-and pharisees at that.

    Go back to DT. 24:1 (Law of Moses) that is mentioned in Matt 19:7. There is the first mention of divorce. A man was permitted to divorce his wife for reason (uncleanness-what ever that means). But the stipulation was that he give her a "certificate" of divorce. That means he must make it legal. So, from early on (within the law) divorce was allowed, but it had 2 rules. 1-it must be for reason, and 2 -it must be done legally.

    The question Jesus was asked back in Matt 19 was if it were possible for no reason.

    Now if we go forward to 1 Corinthians ch 7, Paul addresses divorce fro Christians (not Jews under the law). Basically he says that you should not seek a divorce. We should try to reconcile. But he goes on- if our partner abandons us-we are not bound to the marriage. And, since it is so much immorality in the world, it is better to remarry than to burn with desire.

    Bottom line- ( the way I see it)- God intended one man and one woman for life. Sometimes one dies, or runs off with another, or molests children, or commits some other horrible act. When a marriage fails- and it can not be fixed- end it. But do it legally- and then move on with your life. If remarriage is in the works- then do it and be happy, but be godly.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I believe that God does not want his children to be miserable but instead wants them to be gloriously happy with the mate they have chosen. Unfortunately, as you said, we often do not ask God if someone is right for us (which means someone who lives by the laws of God and the example of husband and wife in the Bible). If men and women lived by those standards, divorce would be a thing of the past. When people marry, part of the ceremony is often the statement that what God joins together, let no man put assunder. If you have not asked God about the person but have instead followed your own flesh in choosing them, God has not joined you together. You are simply committing fornication legally. I sincerely believe that if both partners use God's guidance in choosing their mate and continue to follow his guidance throughout the marriage, you will be happy and content in that relationship. Without those guidelines, it is a crap shoot. You never know what you are going to run into....or what the other person may really be. Marriage without God's input in today's society is just a legal contract between two consenting individuals and divorce is simply the disolution of that contract. It is marriage by man's law....not Gods.

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  • 1 decade ago

    some of the post are so valid, however, if a Christian divorces the only acceptable excuse is unfaithfulness--not because she is this or that or vise-versa. Now, you press a real issue, however, if a person does such than he or she is not worthy since the person is obviously not following God's word and not a Christian so the idea of divorce would not hold in such a situation; therefore, I believe, divorce is the only option to avoid emotional, physical, sexual, abuse; God would not want His children to suffer a devastating situation that will destroy the innocent child or children.

    Source(s): me
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  • 1 decade ago

    The person molesting is being unfaithful to the marriage and the person they are married to.

    The person creating domestic violence of any kind is unfaithful to the vows they took.They are unfaithful to the relationship in many ways.

    They have broken the marriage by their actions. The marriage is no longer valid.

    edit: for a person to stay in a marriage of the sort you describe they are binding themselves to something that no longer exists. The one side of the vase has been broken and so the rest of the vase(marriage) is no good and doesn't exist. It can no longer hold water and is of no use.

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  • 1 decade ago

    We should only divorce outside of unfaithfulness, but God is not stupid. If you molest your child, beat your spouse or provide for your family you have broken the vows you spoke to God and your spouse. After you have renounced on your responsibilities I do not think God would judge someone to harshly who seeked a divorce from either of these things.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    To put it simply, (in VERY loose terms) it's not so much saying you can't get divorced because it's not "allowed", in essence it's saying if in God's eyes you are married, that is to say God has recognized you as being married, man cannot break that vow. It's humanly impossible. Obviously if one's life is in danger getting divorced is the safe thing to do. But if God has recognized your marriage, a civil divorce doesn't break that marriage vow. Only the death of one of the spouse's does.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I don't believe in a Christian divorcing BUT if there is any kind of abuse going on, YES get out and as fast as you can!! God does not want a woman (or man) and children hurt in any way fashion or form!!

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    you make a sound philosophical argument.

    i will make a cultural one in response.

    women's suffrage impacted the rise in divorce. women now can work and support themselves, they don't need to own property, to vote, and pay the bills.

    typically it is meant for a man and woman to be together so you still see that, but culture has changed so much that many people give up the very instant a relationship is no longer movie-like perfect. we have so many psychoanalysts telling us to get out of relationships and to seek counseling. i doubt the effectiveness of telling a psychologists your problems. usually a person becomes a psychologist because he/she thinks they can answer the own pains in their life. so that person has some emotional baggage to begin with.

    its society, and culture, and man-made illusions that cause divorce.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    God says that do not divorce for any reason other than adultery, but when you are married, you are supposed to respect each other and live for each other and treat each other like YOUR OWN FLESH.

    So he says, no, do not divorce - but do not treat each other like **** either.

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