My husband buys $142/mon. on legos. If he keeps it up, Im afraid it will lead to a divorce. What should I do?
He is 21 and he doesn't understand that all of this money should go to toys each month. He hates how I am uptight about this becuase I grew with hardly any money.
I am caught up in college and I can barely find the time to do something nice for myself. When I tell him that he's spending too much he complains about how much I spend. I may by a shirt or a ticket to the swimming pool once a month but I dont invest in all of my money for legos.
I want to take his debit cards away but it's hard since thats the only thing you can pretty much use these days besides I cant trust him to have cash because it would just somehow fall out of his wallet.
- LBLv 61 decade agoFavorite Answer
Why didn't you have the money discussion BEFORE you got married? If this is his hobby and something he truly enjoys 142/month isn't that much. You could spend that on yourself too and things would be more even. If you can't afford that, come up with a compromise. Ask him to spend half of that and you can spend the other half on something you want.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
I used to have a really bad credit card problem when I was younger. I got to college and I got credit cards. It was just too easy to spend the "money". It was like play money. The 90s was a time for "collectibles", and everything was a collectible. There were collectible beanie babies, barbie dolls and action figures that were actually kind of geared toward adult collectors. The Barbies had lines specific to the adult collector, and female action figures were created in "limited edition". Then of course there were collectible editions of comic books and everything else you could imagine. I honestly think it was the decade of the collectible. Mass produced toys had been around, maybe since the baby boomers' childhoods, and nostalgia raised prices on old toys leading to this bizarre creation of an entire collectibles market and prices that were artificially inflated for new products. So, my toy collecting, along with the fact that I was a musician and also collected guitars, among other things, led to major debt problems. I was a college student with no job, and yet credit card companies were offering kids something that was too tempting. 7 years out of college, and I was still paying off my credit cards. My parents had helped me two other times, but I kept imagining the money was real, and that I was rich and successful, and I'd end up in debt again. I probably wasted at least 30K, which doesn't sound like a lot stretched out over years, but the interest is insane, even if you never miss a payment. Finally, stuck at a low paying job, even with a college degree, my parents agreed to help me one last time. I can now finally start to think about getting into grad school. But so many years were wasted paying bills. Please, I beg you to warn your boyfriend, but give him love and support. He will need it. Hobbies are fun, but MAKE SURE he has the money for his purchases. Keep a "lego jar" and save up cash for that special lego set every few months. Make it fun. I know what it is like to be a toy lover, but I also know financial ruin and spending addiction all too well. I would have been severely depressed if I weren't for the love and support of my boyfriend of 12 years, and my family. I learned the hard way. Don't let him waste his 20s in debt.
- Dee-DeeLv 41 decade ago
First you need to find out the reasoning behind the Lego's.
Is he planning to open up a Lego store in the future or something.
If he does not have plans to become an entrepreneur then, yeah you guys need to sit down and have a conversation about budgeting quickly.
I hope that you guys are saving for your retirement because social security is not going to be worth anything by the time you both get old enough to collect, if it is still in existence at all.
The average couple needs over 1.2 million dollars to retire comfortably or something like that. I would do some research on the actual numbers it might be a bit more.
That is rent, health care, car costs, Food, insurance, entertainment, clothes, travel expenses, and any other luxuries, that you guys are into.
- CandyLv 41 decade ago
Explain to him that since you both are married, you have to make those kinds of decisions together. Then, agree on a set amount of money ($50, $100, and so on) that you have to talk to the other person about before you can just go spend each month. If he doesn't want to come to an agreement with you, I suggest counseling, because this could lead to other issues in your relationship.
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- rrm38Lv 71 decade ago
If it is impeding your ability to pay your bills, suggest that he find a second job to support his hobby.... maybe at a toy store where he can get a discount. If it isn't keeping you from paying bills and doing the other things that you need to do, then leave him alone and let him have his hobby. He is only 21 years old. I know that makes him a legal adult, but it doesn't necessarily make him mature or responsible. That comes with time and living, and for some it never comes. Surely you were aware of this hobby before you married.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
My husband is 27 and plays his XBox everyday and buys games like there's no tomorrow when they are around $50 each. I accept it though and bite my lip when I know we need more important things than an XBox game because he accepts my expensive hobby of horseback riding. He doesn't understand it just like I don't understand his XBox but we accept it because it makes us both happy. Let your husband keep is hobby and learn to accept it. It's nothing so serious to get a divorce over. At least he's not spending his extra cash on another woman.
- Electric BlueLv 51 decade ago
Let him play. Legos probably relax him and let him unwind. He's only spending $4.73 a day for his "habit". A pack of cigarettes costs more than that.
His "addiction" is a good one, not a bad one. I'm sure you can find it in your budget for him to be able to spend $142 each month for it.
I would think that if you looked at your habits, there is something in there that you get to spend money on that's not truly necessary for survival, but it makes you feel good, right?
Let him play....
- 1 decade ago
I know it seems like the worst thing ever right now, but take it from me, the might be soon ex- wife of a 32 year old child. Legos are so not worth divorcing over. There are much worse things he could be doing with his time and money. Trust me.
- YogiLv 61 decade ago
I'm with you though. That money could go towards a house, or paying off debt. Just redo your budget. Tell him you can't afford it now. Give him an allowance for legos (sorry, this is just funny to me) and tell him to look on ebay or cheaper places.
Mine is the same way with video games though, so I know what you're going through. Just budget half that or $20 or so every month for him to do with whatever he wants. Then give yourself the same amount, and neither one of you are allowed to get on the other about what you spend "your" money on.
- Red RoseLv 61 decade ago
Something like that would also bother me. My husband spends money on other things not toys. But still I am bothered by it. Mine also doesn't see it as wrong. Then they wonder why we argue all the time. I look at it as money that can be used to pay bills or get things needed around the home.