Kept ex husbands name after divorce after he cheated?
my bfs mother has been divorced for 11 years they have 5 children ages ranging from 18 - 27. Her ex husband cheated on her very publicly (going out with friends of his and his wife's with numerous girlfriends, buying them cars, houses, staying nights over etc) and she kept his surname after all that!! i couldn't believe it. Can anyone suggest why she would have done this? the kids all knew what was going on at the time and they are very well off financially so money wasnt an issue
- Jonny BLv 51 decade agoBest Answer
Keeping the same name for the children's sake is stupid. No one cares anymore. Even the stupidest person nowadays does not assume that the mother and children have the same name.
- rrm38Lv 71 decade ago
If it was 11 years ago, the youngest child would have only been 7 at the time. While the situation may be understood now at age 18, I don't believe that the 7 year old could have fully understood it all. I can see why she might have opted to keep the same name as her children to spare them any more unnecessary confusion. Also, it's a pain in the neck to change your name on everything... especially if the name change isn't specified in a divorce decree. I actually had to file a petition for a legal name change and pay a court fee to be able to resume the use of my own maiden name. It was a hassle, and if I had it to do over I might not have bothered. Also, people at the school as well as friends of my daughters automatically assume that I have the same last name as them and call me Ms. Exhusbandslastname even though my legal name is my maiden name. I don't think it really matters a whole lot what her motivation was. As long as she's happy with her life then that's all that matters.
- E&LLv 71 decade ago
Some women keep the last name the same if they are raising children, less hassle and raised eyebrows. After that some women feel they are established as their 'married name' in the community and professionally. Some don't want to go thru the hassle to change every form of identification back to a maiden name they may not have used for half their life. Changing a surname does not change the facts of what happened, it should be HIS reputation that was soiled, not hers.
- 1 decade ago
There is nothing wrong with keeping the name. Maybe it's just an inconvenience for her to go and change her name since that is the name she is know by, and all her contacts.
I kept my ex's name for a while and changed it only because it bothered my 2nd husband. I still have not changed my name to my second husband's name, I chose to use my maiden name. I told my 2nd husband that I would switch my name to his after we get married in a church, since we could only afford to marry civil. We have been married 4 years now and I still use my maiden name.
Now my son from my first marriage still bears the last name of my ex. I intend to keep it that way, it is a reminder to us both of his true identity and it's a symbol of our past experience with my ex. My son is 9 and understands why he doesn't see his father anymore.
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- Anonymous1 decade ago
Who cares, my dear? A name is a name. Maybe she wanted the same name as her kids. Maybe her maiden name was something like "Lipschitz" (a common name from where I come) and she preferred her married name rather than going back to that nightmare of a name. Maybe she did not want to do all the document changes again. Who cares? Mind your own business. Let dead dogs die. Don't beat a dead horse. Let live and let live. Wake up and smell the coffee, and leave the poor hag alone. A name is a name is a name, nothing more than a name.
- 1 decade ago
Well i kept my ex's name so it would be the same as the children's.Now that they have grown i keep it just too **** him off because he has to pay for my medical/dental through his work and it drives him nuts when he sees that i am still using his last name.Once i am off his coverage then i will go back to my maiden name,
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- 1 decade ago
She probably knew what was going on at the time too but it's hard to admit something like that. She's probably just have trouble moving on. I'm sure one day she'll realize that she no longer wants to be associated with his name.
- 1 decade ago
A lot of women keep there married name after a divorce. The process to change it is to complicated, and maybe she doesn't want to go through that.