Ever been demoralized after a bad employment situation (bad boss-coworkers, firing)?

A few years ago I was fired and it took me almost a year to recover. I went on unemployment insurance and lived off that and some odd (off the books) jobs and savings for almost 8 months before I could get the confidence to start working again.

I had tried to survive and get along with my impossible boss but kept failing. I just did not have the confidence or drive to get up and try it all over again. Finally I had to go back to work and do it all again due to economics but for the first few months I kept to my self and was isolated because I did not have the confidence to put my self out there.

Can you relate and is this common?

8 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    Sounds similar to my current situation , my company downsized , we were a three shift operation and went to one. We went from 80 union employees to 20 . We went from 5 supervisors to two. When we were at full capacity it was easy to work with one another as we all had our own responsibilities. When we down sized my manager gave no direction as to who would handle what , I couldn't work with my fellow supervisor as he was a control freak and wanted his hands on everything. I went from rave reviews to one bad one and my boss left me go , this is after 15 years of service. It felt at the time as he won , meaning the other supervisor was able to get rid of me , it made me feel inadequate. Now I'm on unemployment and exploring options in other fields. I know what you are saying though , I'm taking my time and waiting until I find something I know will be a good fit. Best of luck...

  • 1 decade ago

    I think it's more common than most people realize.

    I found the best thing to do is quit a job before it gets to that point. I've been in bad jobs and tried to tough it out, hoping it will get better, but of course it never does. Staying on a bad job just makes things worse for yourself.

    Sometimes you have to quit, even though you don't have another job lined up. When you're unemployed and not completely crushed, it makes it easier to job hunt.

    Then 30 days after you leave the bad job, you write a well versed, professional letter of complaint to a superior of your boss, explaining why you left. Your ex-boss or co-worker will be powerless to do anything to you then. It probably won't get him/her fired, but when he/she racks up enough complaints, they'll do something.

    A good book for you would be "What Color Is Your Parachute?". You can find used editions that are a couple of years old or so very cheap on Amazon.

  • 1 decade ago

    I had this happen once, made worse by co-workers who started stories about me after my departure to cover up for their own bad behavior. It helped me to know that this sort of back-stabbing is common (the last to leave is always the common scapegoat).

    I have also been very subdued in subsequent jobs, just not wanting to put myself out there to get hurt that way again.

    We tie up a lot of our egos in our jobs. They often define us, so when we're canned it's like someone isn't just telling us our work isn't good, they're telling us that WE aren't good. That's what makes it so much more painful than other losses.

    You will bounce back. Time heals.

  • 1 decade ago

    I think we take it really personally when we get fired and it is really hard to deal with. I had it happen to me. This guy was sexually harrassing me, but I didn't report it. I gave him a stern warning to leave me alone. He was afraid I would report it, so he reported it as if I was the one doing the harrassing. I was fired and I was devistated. There were cameras where I was being harrassed and I was able to prove that he was harrassing me, because they had him on camera grabbing my butt, anyway, they didn't do a proper investigation and I got some money, but it killed me! I couldn't understand why they just got rid of me. I thought I was a good worker and why wouldn't they believe me? I got a job like 2 months later, but I was very timid and overly-eager to please. I guess time heals all wounds. It takes awhile. Not all bosses are understanding. You just got to find one you can work with. Good luck!

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  • 1 decade ago

    Yup, I can relate to that personally and through friends who have gone through similar situations.

    The eroded confidence is the more serious damage, especially if you were once a senior and respected employee. I don't know if there is a real answer except that you have to slowly test the waters and regain your lost confidence. My only advice is to start with what you do best and then expand into other areas.

    In any job, the door to success is having a supportive boss. He or she can make your life either hell or heaven.

  • 1 decade ago

    I know how it feels, it really sucks to, I eventually just moved on and seen the good side of it, I am driving a new ride with some 20's and my ex boss is driving a old doo doo brown van, he has a bald head, I have a full head of hair, his wife is fat, my girl is petite, he was ugly, I am delicious. LOL! catch my drift? There are always gonna be bad apples where ever you go.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    It's fairly common.

    ..sometimes you have to lick those wounds and get back to it. As long as you learned something from it, all is good.

  • 1 decade ago

    When you get fired its is extrely hard to bounce back.

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