Anonymous asked in Entertainment & MusicJokes & Riddles · 1 decade ago

Affairs? 2 of 3 in a series. JOKE!?



Sandy :O)

The 3rd Affair

A mortician was working late one night. He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about

to be cremated, and made a startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen!

'I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz,' the mortician commented, 'I can't allow you to be cremated with such an

impressive private part. It must be saved for posterity.'

So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase,

and took it home and said, 'I have something to show you -- you won't believe this,' he said to his wife, opening his briefcase.

'My God!' the wife exclaimed, 'Schwartz is dead!'

The 4th Affair

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.

'Hurry,' she said, 'stand in the corner.'

She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum

powder. 'Don't move until I tell you,' she said, 'Pretend you're a statue.'

'What's this?' the husband inquired as he entered the room. 'Oh it's a statue,' she replied, 'the Smiths bought one and I liked it so I go t one for us, too.'

No more was said, not even when they went to bed. Around

2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer.

'Here,' he said to the statue, 'have this. I stood like that

for two days at the Smiths and nobody offered me a damned thing.'

10 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    hahahaha, both jokes were funny!!! 5 stars if I could but only one :(

  • 1 decade ago

    loved the 4th one, keep'em coming

  • 1 decade ago

    Funny stuff!

  • 1 decade ago

    I saw the 4th one before but still very :o)

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • 1 decade ago

    lol i like the secound one altho i heard it b4

  • 1 decade ago

    the 4th one is great.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago


    funny ones

    keep em coming! =]


  • 1 decade ago


  • 1 decade ago

    omg these are SO funny

  • 1 decade ago

    hey at least he was generious.....LOL

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.