Martha stewart I am not?
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
3. Avoid argument with the missus about lifting toilet seat by simply using the sink.
4. High Blood pressure sufferers: Make an incision in your left or right wrist and bleed yourself for several hours, reducing the pressure in your veins.
5. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough
7. Avoid the mess when your toilet backs up, use the yard.