Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Arts & HumanitiesPoetry · 1 decade ago

Is this what poetry is meant to be?

I aske for your comments

~Face~

Falling locks of river water

cascading down her face

An ever faithful, Earthen daughter

recovering from grace

Castle peak of natural stone

stands as her tall brow

Ever dreamt to dance alone

so I will leave her now

-Gaia is worn away

Update:

Edit; "Recovering from mortal grace"

Update 2:

This was actually inspired by a drawing that Rouxe gave me today... it has to be seen to understand but I hope this poem does it justice...

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    *****

    I came up with four possibilities as to the identity of the subject. [How many did you think of?]

    "Earthen" is a problematic word. It increases the ambiguity of the subject's identity. Maybe that is exactly your purpose.

    "Recovering from grace" adds irony to ambiguity and the stew really is starting to cook.

    Three words or phrases maintain the ambiguity: "castle" "natural," and "brow." In addition, the short distance between "peak" and "brow" enhances the possibility of one among the four.

    I haven't figured out what "ever.....alone" means.

    Even though "Gaia" is probably the name of the subject, the ambiguity is not reduced one whit by telling us her name.

    Neat-o! I really had fun with this!

    And so the answer to your question is YES!!!!!!

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    This is art, and meaningful beauty- this is what poetry is meant to be. You have painted a haunting picture of the face of Earth, of the goddess. "Recovering from mortal grace" makes it perfect. I feel as though I am looking at the face itself and not just the words as I read this. Thank you.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    an english teacher once told me that the only important things you need to judge whether a poem is great or not is how honest it is, and how economical the use of words is. so, the question is: do the words used express the writer's feelings in their truest and simplest form? the greatest poems are the ones that strike a chord within the greatest number of people.

    in my opinion, this poem is pretty economical and the message is easily discerned. i like it!

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  • sher
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    Beautiful work, Siren. I wish I could see the drawing, but I have an idea in my mind! This is definately what poetry is meant to be...and excellent poetry, also!!

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  • 1 decade ago

    I am flattered that my art evoked such great things from the wellsprings of your poetic imagination... Eva should see the picture for herself...

    This is beautiful, and do not fret, it does do it justice... I hope to do this again sometime, draw as you write...

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Oh wow... I am in tears now, this reminds me so much of Vael... only difference, it would be streams of molten rock... the sun was on her face and she out-shined it... thank you for calling these feelings back to me...

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Yes,

    This is a beautiful poem.

    I wish I could see the picture.

    Nice work:)

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Yes!

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  • 1 decade ago

    very good, etheral.

    Only critisism...an adjective or another between "from" and "grace" would help it have better flow

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