Another one from my Grandmother's "Book of Dirty Jokes"?

A nervous young man who was about to get married asked his father for suggestions on what to do on his and his bride's wedding night. "Well son, it's easy," his father said. "Just put what you used to play with when you were a teenager where your woman pees."

So on their wedding night the young man took his baseball and threw it in the toilet.

20 Answers

Relevance
  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    dumb

    • Login to reply the answers
  • 1 decade ago

    lmao...funny

    Teased Old Lady

    Defense Attorney: What is your age?

    Little Old Woman: I am 86 years old.

    Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened to you?

    Little Old Woman: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.

    Defense Attorney: Did you know him?

    Little Old Woman: No, but he sure was friendly.

    Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down beside you?

    Little Old Woman: He started to rub my thigh.

    Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?

    Little Old Woman: No, I didn't stop him.

    Defense Attorney: Why not?

    Little Old Woman: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner passed away some 30 years ago.

    Defense Attorney: What happened next?

    Little Old Woman: He began to rub my breasts.

    Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then?

    Little Old Woman: Hell No, I did not stop him.

    Defense Attorney: Why not?

    Little Old Woman: Why, Your Honor, his rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!

    Defense Attorney: What happened next?

    Little Old Woman: Well, I was feeling so spicy that I just spread my old legs and said to him, just spread my old legs "Take me, young man, take me!"

    Defense Attorney: Did he take you?

    Little Old Woman: Hell, no. That's when he yelled, "April Fool!" And that's when I shot the son of a b***h!

    78-year-old man goes for a physical. All of his tests come back with normal results.

    The doctor says, 'Bill, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally. Are you at peace with God?'

    Bill replies, 'God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the Bathroom, *poof *!, the light goes on. When I'm done, *poof *!, the light goes off.'

    'Wow, that's incredible,' the doctor says.

    A little later in the day, the doctor calls Bills wife ,

    'Joan , he says, 'Bill is fine but I had to call you because I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and *poof *!, the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he's done, *poof *! The light goes off?'

    'OH MY GOD!' Joan exclaims.

    'He's pi**ing in the fridge again!!!!

    • Login to reply the answers
  • 1 decade ago

    hahhahahahah that was actualy pretty good . Guess that young man was absent the day they taught sex-ed :)

    • Login to reply the answers
  • Wow, that's disturbing

    • Login to reply the answers
  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    LOL what if he threw his penis in the toilet?! :O

    • Login to reply the answers
  • bahaha .

    thats awesome .

    high fives all round !

    =]

    x

    • Login to reply the answers
  • 1 decade ago

    not funny i knew what was coming that joke sucked HELL NO STAR

    • Login to reply the answers
  • smiles
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    LOL!!! That was funny, did not see that coming.

    • Login to reply the answers
  • 1 decade ago

    lol have a star

    • Login to reply the answers
  • 1 decade ago

    ah ha thats great

    • Login to reply the answers
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    hahha really funny

    • Login to reply the answers
Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.