If you are living with an elderly person, and that person gets cranky most of the time, what to do?

Elderly persons are often found to be stubborn, but is there any way to make them realise their mistakes and convince them? hope someone comes up with some clever ideas to handle the crankiest elderly people.

23 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    They often become cranky because they dont feel well or because they are just plain unhappy with how their life turned out. They also may be suffering from anxiety or depression. Medication can help in some cases. You wont get anywhere arguing with them. I found that killing them with sweetness puts a damper on their grumps. Its hard to be nasty and mean to a person with a smile who reminds you that they love you. Keep your sense of humor and pray for patience and understanding.

  • 4 years ago

    I actually mourn the loss of the elderly. There are times when they are a little frustrating because they do come from a different generation and have very different views on most subjects but the benefits of having them around far outweigh the negatives. With age comes wisdom which we are sorely lacking in today's youth oriented culture. You need only look outside to see what a disregard of wisdom and experience will bring. I think that those of us born in the early 80's will be the last generation to have traditional grandparents and that's horrible. I know my mother does not have the ability or inclination to do about 85% of the stuff that my Nana did with/for me (darn Jones generation and who the heck was Jones anyway?). When the greatest generation is gone they're taking their wisdom, integrity, strength of character and amazing insight - these are people who lived through the depression, a world war, were the driving force behind the US rise to world domination, etc. -with them and we'll be the worse for that.

  • 1 decade ago

    Not all elderly people are cranky. Having said that, don't even try to make them realize anything. We all make mistakes in life & they don't need someone so much younger, to make them realize their faults. In most cases, you just have to humor them. If you know of a favorite subject of theirs to talk about, then do so. Many people are only cranky on the outside. They may be cranky for various reasons. I worked in a nursing home & many of the residents were cranky, but once I smiled at some of them & initated a conversation with them, they seemed to open up to me. Some of the elderly had been dropped off at the nursing home like the daily laundry, & never saw their families again. Why? I hear it's because they were too busy with their own lives to bother visiting their parents/grandparents. Get to know some of the cranky people & see where they're coming from. A little kindness will go a long way. Sit with them, read to them, play cards or games with them, etc.

  • 1 decade ago

    Remember when parents would send us to our room if we misbehaved? We didn't like being isolated and missing out on what was going on.

    Now that I am taking care of Mom, I deal with her cranky moods in pretty much the same way. I cannot send her to her room, but I can remove myself when she is not being nice. I go out to the garden and do lawn work, or go to the store or run errands on my own. Usually, by the time I return, the problem has gone away and her mood has improved.

    One of my other sisters used to take care of Mom, and they would end up fighting and there would be hurt feelings. Both were too stubborn to let a subject drop and they said things that could not be forgotten, and in some cases, not forgiven. The two of them no longer speak to each other, which I think is tragic.

    Time outs work pretty well with older people. They sure are easier on the caregiver than trying to reason with someone who can occasionally be unreasonable.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    They have come up with a clever idea to handle the crankiest old people and they are called meds. Slip them a valium here and an oxcycontin there and before you know it, they are on top of the world. In all seriousness though, I have no idea. If you come up with a good solution, lemmie know. I would like to use it on my gandpa. He is about as cranky as they come.

  • Gladys
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Well, I must admit, having been a teacher for over 40 years, I've seen both young and old that can be cranky. So, it really comes down to how to turn that behavior around. One trick I've learn that works is to make them feel like they are the one in control. If you can speak to them and do things that makes them feel it was their decision, they are more willing to do it. This works with people of all ages (especially spouses). My hubby hates to go to the doctor for his annual physical exam and always gets cranky when we discuss it. But, I have ways to make him schedule his appointment and eagerly go. As they say "the man may be the head of the household, but it is the woman that is the neck - and she can turn the head any way she likes!" It's all in the presentation. Good luck.

  • 1 decade ago

    Check they took medication on time and correctly. Keep count. See if they need a pain pill for arthritis, sore back what ever. Offer a foot soak. Get out photo book and ask questions, mark years on back photos they know about, and or/ a project and let them take over it or some other craft thing. They get bored like small cjildren do and need feel useful. and often wont say exactly whats wrong same as child. *mamatx

  • 1 decade ago

    I have always read that we go around full circle if we live long enough. So, the cranky elderly person put up with several cranky and rebellious children in their lifetimes. So now, it is role reversal. You just have to learn to be patient and deal with it.They have paid their dues.

  • dora
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    I like the the suggeston of giving them choices. Think they may fear they are losing control of many things, like their own abilities and independence and that would make anyone cranky. By giving choices, you are letting them know that they can still make decisions for themselves and that they are individual people not just 'the elderly'. Star for you for caring.

  • ROXY
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    think about the losses they have had ,independence, driving,making decisions ,mobility, energy ,friends...the list goes on....

    sometimes they will stubbornly defend a decision they have made ,because they can !!!you can't change the person ,but you can give them choices eg" do u want to wear this ?or that?" " wher would u like to go?" "what would u like for lunch?"..etc...

    remember the elderly people now have lived through depression and wars, lacked good medical help in the early years ,unreliable birth control to mentoin a few . i think we are lucky they are ONLY CRANKY ....they could very well be HOMICIDAL...LOL....GOOD LUCK ..

    please make sure u have enough "me time" it's important for u to have a life as well.

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