Presssure is often a stimulant that awakens a person. However Too Much stress inevitably causes a "stress reaction."
If you seem to be "addicted" to "stress creation" you probably did not have proper mothering in regards to having the "proper time to do things" (one or another) set out or clearly defined for you at the appropriate moment and with the appropriate and nurturing emotion.
This leaves a child in a state of anxiety about "getting started". The child who is Interested in doing work and tasks, who is concientious, as yourself, will then seek ways to artificially create Extra "motivational stress" by letting situations develope that increase fear or guilt or some similarly motivation emotion.
Repetition of this process of adding stress for self-motivation will lead to a breakdown, eventually. Either in Physical Health or Emotional Health.
So, no, you are Not putting things off because you "function better under pressure." That is a mis-conception.
You are an intelligent girl. Reflecting on these words will help you greatly in life, but it will take Time to change course. For this current situation you will just have to "suffer through things" as you have been doing. To Significantly work out of this "mode of being" will take months or years, depending upon its grip on you.
I will tell you the best alleviator of anxiety in general is healthy same-sex companionship. Being involved on at least a regular weekly basis with same-sexed people, or a person, in actually Doing things. Something recreational, hobby or 'cause-oriented'. (as opposed to just "hanging-out", which only puts anxiety on hold.)
This brings "hormonal-re-enforcement" , which cures anxiety.
It is the case with Anxiety that it soon becomes "generalized" although it has "focal points". The anxiety you now have because of the lack of good mothering in this particular area must be addressed in the above way. Even if anti-anxiety drugs are used as an aid. (anti-anxiety and anti-depression drugs are related to hormones.)
I am the first person to put these ideas out in quite this particular way. My name is DavidRandall. I am Sure you will be able to put them to use. Of course they will be in my book, which I am working on. But your need struck me and I thought to give them to you now. ...Take Care.
· 1 decade ago