You are probably deeply depressed, and may be suffering from drug induced paranoia. If you continue to take drugs, you will never get better, and they not only cause physical addiction, but change the pleasure pathways of your brain, which takes some time to recover from. If detox/rehabilitation is not available, you will have to do it the hard way, but if you at least inquire about those options, you can mention it in court, which will help. Contact your county/local mental health agency, and find out what help they can offer, since you suffer from depression, and possibly a schizophreniform disorder, and ask to be able to talk with a social worker, because they have many suggestions, and contacts. Find out what services are available, and contact charities as well. What about Social Services? Benefits? Are there soup kitchens, and shelters, locally? Your brain needs adequate amounts of good quality food, to function properly. Drugs, suicidal thoughts, depression, child sexual abuse, bipolar disorder, & schizophrenia are addressed in sections 52, 5, 2, 20, 10, & 40, at ezy-build, below. ANGER MANAGEMENT: If you can't deal with it by using one of the techniques, such as counting backwards from 20, to 1, (and prevent yourself from making yourself angry, in the first place) is important to express that anger appropriately, at the time, and to the person who caused it, if possible, or immediately afterwards. If not, maybe by walking away later, and bellowing your rage. In some situations, such as work, or school, it might be better to cover your mouth with a cupped hand, bandanna/handkerchief, or use the crook of your elbow, to muffle the sound. Some people find that it helps to journal those thoughts, and emotions soon afterwards.
Anger, which is repressed, rather than healthily expressed, tends to fester, and later may cause explosive fits of rage, or depression. It helps to have someone you can talk to. For more physically inclined people, a punching bag, or hitting your pillow, can be an effective release mechanism: visualise, as vividly as you can, that you are striking back at the cause of that anger. "But next time, when you get mad, just remember this quote: 'Those who anger you, conquer you.' It's basically saying that when you give someone the power to make you mad, or let it get to you, it's like they're controlling you. When I realized that, it made me mad, so I try to control my anger and not let people see it. You can still control your anger without being walked all over. You just have to draw a line." Anger management is addressed in much more detail than can be included here, in section 4, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris... including multiple weblinks.
The following is worth trying, to see if you find it effective. (It is a variant of EMDR therapy, which has been used successfully for those people suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, insomnia, and anxiety: it is easily learned, quick to use, yet can be very effective). Prior to using either of the methods in the above paragraph, first sit comfortably, and take a deep breath. Then, without moving your head, move your eyes from the left, to the right, and back again, taking around a second to do so (say: a thousand and one: this takes approximately a second). Repeat this procedure (without the words, although you can count, subvocally if you like) 20 times.
Then close your eyes and relax. Become aware of any tension or discomfort you feel. Then open your eyes, and take another deep breath, and repeat step one, closing your eyes, and relaxing afterwards, in the same manner. Then, repeat the procedure one last time. Some people may find that this is all they need do. With experience, you may find that you can practise this in public, with your eyes closed, which greatly widens the window of opportunity for its use, and avoids attracting unwanted attention. ~~~ Life WILL get much better, if you give up the drugs, and address your mental health, and lifestyle, employment, and accomodation problems, but it won't be quick, or easy. The alternatives are not worth considering (experience). If you relapse, don't give up, just learn from it, and start again: best avoid your former associates, and hangouts, for a good while, until recovered. Depression: I now advise people to: (1.) Take 4 Omega 3 fish oil supplements, daily, (certified free of mercury) with an antioxidant, such as an orange, or grapefruit, or their freshly squeezed juice. If vitamin E is used, it should be certified as being 100% from natural sources, or it's synthetic, avoid it. (2.) Work up slowly to 30 - 60 minutes of exercise, daily. (3.) Occupational therapy (keeping busy allows little time for unproductive introspection, and keeps mental activity out of less desirable areas of the brain). (4.) Use daily, one of the relaxation methods in sections 2, 2.c, 2.i, or 11, and/or yoga, Tai Chi, and/or the EFT, in sections 2.q, 2.o, and section 53, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris whichever works best for you. (5.) Initially, at least, some form of counselling, preferably either Cognitive Behavio(u)ral Therapy, or Rational Emotive Behavio(u)ral Therapy. (6.) As options, if desired, either a known, effective herbal remedy, such as St. John's wort, or a supplement, such as SAMe, taken with a vitamin B complex which is certified as being 100% of natural origin, or Inositol (from vitamin and health food stores, some supermarkets, or mail order: view section 55).
If the amount of daylight you have been exposed to recently has reduced, perhaps due to the change of seasons, see Seasonal Affective Disorder (S.A.D.) in section 2, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris and, instead of taking around 4 Omega 3 fish oil supplements, daily; replace 2 of them with cod liver oil supplements for the winter months only! (or, as probably a better alternative to the 2 cod liver oil supplements: 1 teaspoonful of cod liver oil, with a little butter, to ensure its use; I take mine on sourdough rye bread, or toast, covered with fishpaste, and pepper, to mask the strong taste). Optimal levels are 50 - 55 ng/ml (115 - 125 nmol / L). It should be above 32 ng/ml.
Don't use medications and supplements together, without medical advice, except for Omega 3, which is safe, anytime. Omega 3 fish oil supplements: EPA (eicosapentaenoic acid (omega 3) ----360 mg.DHA (docosahexaenoic acid (omega 3)-----240 mg
Take enough supplements to attain, or exceed the levels (no possibility of overdose) of those every day, with an orange, or the juice of a freshly squeezed orange, grapefruit, or other antioxidant.
(make sure the epa is higher then the dha) important for adults... kids need the opposite levels: more dha than epa, but all are beneficial, if you can't achieve the recommended proportions.
They should be certified as being free of mercury, and if containing vitamin E, it should be shown as from a natural source; otherwise it is synthetic: avoid it! Consider having your doctor test your vitamin D levels, (60% of depressed people have low vitamin D levels!) using the 25 Hydroxyvitamin D test. Those people who receive adequate exposure to sunlight, daily, won't need the vitamin D from cod liver oil, but many people, particularly those in latitudes far from the equator, find this difficult to achieve.
If the above is insufficient for you, after several months, (unlikely) try one of the alternatives, such as the neurofeedback, magnetic, or low current electrical stimulation, or EMDR therapy, (see section 33, at ezy build) keeping ECT back, as a last resort. Read: "Lift your mood now." by John D Preston, Psy.D. 2001, New Harbinger Publications, Inc., 5674 Shattuck Avenue, Oakland. CA 94609 http://www.amazon.com/ may be worth trying for this. I have read many books on depression, but if there is a better, more easily read, and quickly implementable one, I have yet to encounter it.
· 1 decade ago