Although you're not forced to alter your name, isn't it more about point making that anything else when a woman doesn't want to change her name? Your identity doesn't really change, for practical purposes it helps to have the same name, so one or the other of your names would do.
People who only live together don't suffer the expectation, but they do suffer the indignity of people considering their relationship as somehow less 'genuine'. Overall I have no idea why people get married in the first place. That's only my opinion though.
edit - I fully accept that, but what I meant is that if everything was eventually uniform (i.e. you both have the same name) things will move a lot faster through the irritating bureaucracy during the course of your lives, and if you end up celebrating a diamond wedding, that might reduce a lot of headaches.
Let's hope the old trend changes in the long run.