小優 asked in 社會與文化語言 · 1 decade ago

自己寫了一篇短文不知英文文法對不對 求助英文高手

希望英文高手幫忙改一下

贈20點感謝喔~

Ask the Etiquette Expert

This article describes young lady go to gym to exercise,

she don't hope that someone bothers , so the expert teaches her

just smile and explain that you need to concentrate when you’re

working out. Another audience says: she stayed with nice host family, but host always loaded too much food, she couldn’t eat it all,

The expert suggests her can polish the method for talking

The third audience says she got the new cell phone, but the ring tone

let some people dirty looks, The expert suggests that she turns off

a ring tone in the public place.

This article teaches us many etiquettes of lifes , and uses conversation

teach the audience how to work out a problem,

I feel this article are very interesting and very helpful!

3 Answers

Rating
  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    This article describes young lady who goes to gym to do the

    exercise, and she hopes no one bothers her. The expert teaches

    her with smile face and explains that she needs to concentrate while

    she is working out.

    There is a person who says that she stays with a nice family,

    and the owner of the house always cooks a lot of food

    which she cannot finish it at all all the time. The expert

    suggests that she needs to find a nice way to tell this owner of the

    house that she cannot eat that much.

    The other person mentions that she just bough a new cell phone.

    Once, when the cellpone was ring, other people looked at her with

    unhappy faces. The expert suggests that she should turn off the

    ring tone into vibration or silence in the public place.

    This article teaches us many etiquettes of lives, and people should

    learn how to communicate with others in order to solve the

    problems.

    I feel I have learned a lot from this article.

    2008-04-15 07:33:45 補充:

    Correction: the cell phone was ringing,

    Correction: She should turn off the cell phone into vibration or silence in the public places.

    2008-04-16 01:39:08 補充:

    小優: "Another audience says: she stayed with nice........"

    audience means people who listen to other people say, like People listen to the lecturer's speech, and those people are audiences to the leacturer. Therefore, you use the audience in your sentence which is not proper way to put it.

    2008-04-16 01:40:10 補充:

    In this writing, you try to talk about three people should learn how to communicate with others when they face unplesant situations. I think you should divide into three paragraphs which makes reader understand what you try to say about this article, and put more details in each example.

  • 1 decade ago

    This article describes a young lady go to gym for exercise.

    She doesn't want to be bothered , so the expert teaches her to

    smile and explain that she need to be concentrate when she's

    working out. Another audience says: she stayed with nice host family, but the host always prepared too much foods, and she couldn’t eat it all,

    The expert suggests she can improve the method in talking.

    The third audience says she got the new cell phone, but the ring tone

    makes some people give her a staring, The expert suggests that she had better turn off the ring tone in the public.

    This article implies us many etiquettes of life and uses the conversation to teach the audience how to work out a problem,

    I feel this article are very interesting and very helpful!

    我找不太到這篇文章的連貫性 所以我就幫你糾正一些文法錯誤

    讓它唸起來比較流暢

    Source(s):
  • 1 decade ago

    下面是我自己打的,完全遵照妳的意思打,只不過我有改。

    Ask the Etiquette Expert

    This article describes a young lady who goes to the gym to exercise,

    she doesn't want anyone to bother her, so the expert teaches her,

    "Just smile and explain that you need to concentrate when you're working out."

    Another audience says, "She stayed with a nice host family, but the host always prepares too much food, she couldn't eat all of it."

    The expert suggests that she can polish the method when talking.

    The third audience says that she bought a new cell phone, but the ring made her embarrassed, so the expert suggests that she should turn the ring off while she is in public places.

    This article teaches us many etiquette throughout lives and the use of conversations. It teaches the audience how to solve a problem, I think this article is very interesting and helpful!

    Source(s):
Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.