Dr D
Lv 7

An 80 year old man visits his doctor for a check up...?

DOCTOR: How are we feeling today?

80 YR OLD: Doctor, I'm better than ever. I'm married to a 19 year old wife, who is pregnant with my first child.

DOCTOR: Let me tell you a story. A man went hunting in the woods, when he was confronted by a giant bear. In desparation the man reaches for his gun, only to realise that he packed his umbrella instead of his gun by mistake. Then he decided, "What the hell?". He pointed the umbrella to the bear and pressed the button. Bang. The bear fell to the ground dead.

80 YR OLD: That's impossible. Someone else obviously shot the bear.

DOCTOR: Exactly.

20 Answers

  • swd
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Thanks for the laugh Dr D.

    I usually like to post jokes back, have you heard this one before?


    I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when

    the clerk noticed that I had never signed my name on the

    back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not

    complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When

    I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare

    the signature on the credit card with the signature I just signed

    on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She

    carefully compared that signature to the one I signed on the

    receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.

    Idiot Sighting #2:

    The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it is safe to cross the

    street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker

    of mine, when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I

    explained that it signals to blind people when the light is red.

    She responded, appalled, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?"

    Idiot Sighting #3:

    At a good-bye lunch for an old and dear coworker who is leaving

    the company due to downsizing," our manager spoke up and

    said, "this is fun. We should have lunch like this more often."

    Not another word was spoken. We just looked at each other

    like deer staring into the headlights of an approaching truck.

    Idiot Sighting #4:

    When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership

    to pick up our car, we were told that the keys had been accidentally

    locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic

    working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched

    from the passenger's side, I instinctively tried the door handle

    and discovered it was open. "Hey," I announced to the

    technician, "It's open!" "I know," answered the young man.

    -"I already got that side."

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  • JCS
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    Bear in mind that 80 year old umbrellas may still be very capable of shooting the odd bear. Secret is in the maintenance & practice, even on sunny days.

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  • Anonymous
    4 years ago


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  • 1 decade ago

    LMAO thats such a good joke wow hehehe old man wake up ;-) lol....Exactly hahaha nice ;-)

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  • 1 decade ago

    why do people say they dont get it, the girl got knocked up by somebody else

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  • Escape
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    That's classic.

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  • Rae
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    That was great. Perfectly told.

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  • 1 decade ago
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  • 1 decade ago

    some one has to shout the bear.What are you asking

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  • 1 decade ago

    I don't get it. What does the bear have to do with the................-oh!!! now I get it. Ha ha...

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