Ohhhh... you never have a guarantee my dear.
Sometimes am arranged marriage works out very well, better than both spouses ever expected and sometimes it’s hard when the newly married couple has to cope with a life in common and don’t really feel love to each other, but somehow they find out that they fell in love after some time and sometimes it’s a nightmare and husband and wife can’t stand each other, don’t love each other, never have and never will... sometimes they ignore each other a life time and even though raise their children and live a sad life, every one on his own... sometimes there are never ending fights about different ways of life and expectations and the couple breaks up and divorces... in the worst of all cases there is even hate against each other (above all if the couple was forced to married and one of them or both loved somebody else instead and planned a different life for themselves.)
Sometimes love marriage fails as well, because love unfortunately isn’t always the answer for all the problems in life and sometimes we ourselves choose badly and marry the wrong person upon our own wish.
Why? Well, in the first place, love is blind sometimes and some people think that attraction and looks is everything and after marriage they find out that the partner is superficial and egoist. Sometimes people get married and still are too immature for that step, they expect a bed of roses every day and find themselves in a bed of nails instead. Sometimes when the first problems come around the partner isn’t willing to cope with them and runs away. Sometimes it wasn’t love and just a crush and we thought we have to have him / her...
Sometimes a couple discovers after marriage that real life is so difficult and that the personality of the partner is absolutely different. Sometimes women find out after marriage that the cute boy converts into a demanding and spying pasha, who won’t let her private space to breathe...
Arranged or not, marriage can fail and end in divorce and broken hopes and dreams…
So my recommendations are simple:
In the case you go for an arranged marriage you should get to know the person you are supposed to spend the rest of your life with outside family meetings and opt for a long engagement period. You can’t get to know somebody well enough during a couple of polite meetings with your respective families watching you.
Never accept somebody you don’t like, although you can’t even say why, because all human beings have a 6th sense and sometimes this 6th sense is warning us.
Talk about your ideas and tell him what you expect in life.
Be yourself and don’t say “yes my dear” just because it’s easier like that and just because you want to please him or / and your family.
Your family has to accept that NO is NO.
Don’t accept a forced marriage – NEVER!!
If you are in love and you want to marry this man, make sure that he respects you and your future plans the same way as you respect his.
Don’t decide to marry in haste just because you want to show your family that you are old enough and you can do whatever you are pleased… because afterwards you will have to be old enough as well to face the consequences.
Imagine your boy friend as a husband and father and try to imagine your family life in 10 years. Does he fit? Is he mature enough? Does he accept responsibilities? Or is he the sort of guy who turns his back on everything when a problem appears?
Can you trust him? Did he ever lie to you? Just think that small lies now will convert into big lies when you are once his wife.
Will he be a partner and collaborate? Will he respect your privacy and give you enough space in life?
I think many bad marriages and divorces could be avoided if people would meditate over these questions before getting married.