"6 am day after Christmas
I throw some clothes on in the dark
The smell of cold
Car seat is freezing
The world is sleeping
I am numb"
Because it was going to be the only time Ben's girlfriend's parents would be away, they had to go to get the abortion the day after Christmas. Ben wasn't feeling good about it at all, he felt horrible because he felt it was all his fault and he wasn't too happy about the concept of abortion. This first verse is just describing him waking up the morning the abortion is too take place, getting dressed, getting in his cold car in the early morning while everyone else is asleep and than going to pick up his girlfriend.
"Up the stairs to her apartment
She is balled up on the couch
Her mom and dad went down to Charlotte
they're not home to find us out
And we drive"
Ben was from Chapel Hill, NC and he told me his girlfriend and her family lived in an apartment in Raleigh (only 15-20 miles away). Just as the song says: He got there, went up the stairs to her apartment and finds her in a ball on the coach. His parents and her parents had no idea that she was pregnant or about the abortion. Her parents had went to Charrlotte to visit family and she had said she was too sick to go. So her parents weren't home to find out what they were going to do. They got in his car and drove to the abortion clinic.
"Now that I have found someone
I'm feeling more alone
Than I ever have before"
He felt this way because he felt it was all his fault and he felt like no one could relate to his situation that he knew, thus, he felt alone.
"She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
off the coast and I'm headed nowhere
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly"
Even though he blamed himself for what had happened, he felt like his relationship with his girlfriend was now drowning him. He was ruining his life now and throwing it away, but at the same time he deep down didn't want her to get an abortion, because he didn't want to kill his unborn child.
"they call her name at 7:30
I pace around the parking lot
then I walk down to buy her flowers
And sell some gifts that I got"
At 7:30 in the morning they call her name in the Abortion Clinic to get the abortion. Alot was going through Ben's head, he was also worried about his girlfriend so he paced around in the parking lot and than went and brought her flowers and sold some gifts he got for Christmas to help pay for the abortion.
"Can't you see
It's not me you're dying for
Now she's feeling more alone
Then she ever has before"
The first two lines he's talking directly to his unborn child. He didn't agree with the abortion and didn't want to "kill" his unborn baby, so he's telling his baby that he didn't want it and he/she is "dying" because his girlfriend (the unborn child's mother) wants it. The next two lines are refering to how his girlfriend is in the clinic getting an abortion and he can't be there, so she's feeling alone.
"As weeks went by
It showed that she was not fine
They told me son it's time to tell the truth
She broke down and I broke down
Cause I was tired of lying"
Weeks later, his girlfriend started to feel guilt and sadness over what had happened and both Ben's parents and her parents noticed. Eventually Ben's parents comfronted him and her about it and told him to tell the truth and they both broke down and told the truth. Just as it says in the song, Ben did it because he was "tired of lying."
"Driving home to her apartment
For the moment we're alone
Now I know it"
After they told Ben's parents the truth, he drove her home. They were alone for the moment because they were together and didn't have to face her parents yet. But, they weren't alone together, she was alone in her own world and he was alone in his and what do you ask he meant by the line "now I know it"? What exactly did he know? He knew that what had happened had ruined their relationship and tainted their love.