Men, would you call your wife this?

A guy is walking around in a supermarket yelling, "Cris-co, Cris-co?"

A store clerk says to him, "Sir, the Crisco is in Aisle Five."

He says, "I'm not looking for cooking Crisco, I'm calling my wife."

The clerk says, "Your wife is named Crisco'?"

He says, "No, I only call her that in public."

The clerk says, "What do you call her when you're home?"

He says, "Lard ***."

After 29 years of marriage, a woman decided she needed to do something to spice up her marriage.

She went out and bought a pair of crotchless panties, put them on, walked up to her husband and said, "Do you want some of this?"

He replied, "Hell No... Look what it did to those panties!"

One day the husband comes home to his wife and she says to him, "Honey, honey, I need twenty dollars I have to go out and buy some meat."

"Twenty dollars!... are you crazy? Come upstairs to the bathroom and let me show you something."

They run up to the bathroom and he stands in front of the mirror and pulls out a twenty dollar bill and says, "You see that twenty in the mirror, that ones yours and this ones mine."

He goes to work the next day and when he comes home he finds the kitchen table packed full of meat from one end to the other.

He looks over to his wife and says, "Honey, honey, where the hell did you get all of this meat?"

"Well," she replies. "Come upstairs to the bathroom and let me show you something."

They run up to the bathroom and she stands in front of the mirror, lifts up her skirt.

"You see that one in the mirror, that ones yours and this one's the butcher's."

24 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    Those are really funny! Especially the lardazz one.

  • Alaine
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    Yes they should and the ones who leave messages like the one above, need someone to "explain" how to take a call. Men are not stupid, some are however passive aggressive and just won't do anything they don't want to and those are the ones like don;t deserve the wives they seem to end up with.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

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  • LM(_._)O!! Gotta love the third one. If my husband pulled that, he would not be coming home to meat, he would get cat or dog food!

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  • Ed
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    Concerning number one, I will bet he spends a lot of nights in the cold dog house. haha

    all are funny

  • 1 decade ago

    Hi last one is the best.

  • 1 decade ago

    The third one's the best.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I would never call my Wife that,because her A** IS SOOO FINE!! But I LMAO ON THE LAST TWO!!! REVENG IS SWEET!!! VERY FUNNY!!

  • cade L
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    i like the 3rd one the best. Sweet that was a gud laugh. Cheers m8.=)

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    A couple of good ones there. Lovely jubbly!!

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