I recently and respectfully with out blowing up, asked my mother in law not to constantly buy my daughter gifts everytime she shes her. To try and save if for occasions so that my daughter does not lose appreciation for recievings gifts. I did not want my daughter to get too accustomed to it. She agreed but now that my father in law heard of it, he doesnt want to buy her anything at all. Any advice ???
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
ahhh... he'll get over it. he's just butthurt at the situation but later on your mother in law will start again. But dont worry about. Let them spoil her. Like you say, just stay in charge of your daughter and how she feels about the gifts. Let your mother in law know that when she does give her a gift, let her know why, ex: good grades, chores, stuff like that. Not to give her toys out of the blue. That way your daughter knows she worked for it, any case she gets in trouble, you have every right to take the gifts from her. so it really comes down to you and how you raise your daughter. teach her the values and to take care of her stuff.
- 1 decade ago
Here's an idea... I think the best way to go about this is distinguishing necessity from excess. You need to have a talk with him and/or your mother in law together. Explain to them in terms of behavior.... Excessive reinforcement discounts the value of the reinforcers. For instance... you basically just want her to be appreciative of the things she receives and not just have some sense of entitlement. I totally understand what you are talking about. However, problems can arise when say she needs some pencils for school and your father in law is like "Oh nope can't do that! No gifts!" This is why you need to sit down and explain this appreciation/sense of entitlement issue and distinguish things that are necessity (such as paper and penciles for schol) and things that she probably doesn't really need. I mean, ultimately, that's for you and your family to decide... but I think my approach just may get you somewhere..
- AlanKatheLv 41 decade ago
Your father-in-law sounds petty. Your f-i-l doesn't have to buy any gifts, but if your mother-in-law truly respects your decision she will buy gifts when appropriate (Christmas, birthdays, etc.) because it's the right thing to do. I hope your spouse was also in on this decision and is willing to calmly explain to him that you're doing this because you want your child to be appreciative of gifts, not feel entitled to them.Source(s): Child Development 101
- Anonymous1 decade ago
well then fine, if they want to disagree with u, and be stubborn enough to quit giving all together.. then that's fine. another lesson taught to ur daughter then huh? u are her parent, and u had all the right to say how u felt. and personally, i agree with u. so u know what .. let them be stubborn and ungiving. they are just doing this to get even with u.. cause i'm sure they feel stupid for spoiling ur daughter. how's ur wife feel ????
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- 1 decade ago
It does not make any since for him to act that way. He would not be punishing you but he would be punishing the little one. And THEY need to rescpect the fact that you are the parent. What you say goes.
- me mLv 51 decade ago
let them be,she will still buy her things and if they dont its no big deal.
you did the right thing otherwise the child will expect things everytime they see her.