Ashleigh asked in Social ScienceGender Studies · 1 decade ago

A question for Women: At what age do you start to become "invisible" to members of the other sex?

Or for that matter:

Shop assistants

Sales personal

Taxi drivers

and....... well you get the idea.

I have noticed this rather 'unusual' phenomenon, (where some women just seem to cease to exist when they reach a certain age) and wondered, what does it feel like to be ignored because you are no longer a 'young thing'?


Hunny Bunny: "a man"? One can only presume that you were being facetious, and not casting any gender specific aspersions as to the relative merits of the observation powers of my gender. It was not an epiphany, but much rather ther power of ratiocination that lead me to draw this conclusion.

Update 2:

TERA: So long as your 'inner diamond' is still shining you will always be young at heart.

Update 3:

Hot: 12 sounds about right. It is approximately the age when males start to both notice females and to a certain extent begin to feel that they/we are being ignored by females. Normally by the time a man is 30 he has reached his 'use by date', unless he is good looking, wealthy, famous or talented, at which time he is relegated to 'looser' or 'dirty old man' status.

Update 4:

Elizabeth T: I am glad that you still have what it takes to turn heads. The point I am making is that of a generalization. I have spent 36 years working with women (nursing) and have travelled the long coffee break of life with each of them: First encounter, first date, engagement, wedding (photos), pregnancy test results, child birth(s) (photos), birthdays, disapointments, disasters, betrayals and divorces. I talk about these women because they are my friends and I am concerned about them, and think highly of them rather than being 'interested' in them. See the difference?

Update 5:

Supergirl: Obviously you have jumped to a conclusion about my motives. Read the about entry.

Update 6:

Poetica: Well said. There is nothing more refreshing than a truthful answer to a personal question.

15 Answers

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I don't think there is an actual age. I think it depends on the woman, the area of the world she is in and her general attitude.

    I've seen women as young as 30 claim they're "invisible" and I've seen women who are 70 plus who can command the attention of an entire room. Guess it just depends on one's confidence level.

    As for me, I felt more "invisible" in my teens and 20s than I do in middle age. I was never what one would call a "femme fatale" but as I get older, I have noticed that more folks to tend to act somewhat more courteous if not deferential at times.... Perhaps I'm on my way to becoming a grand dame like in that movie Auntie Mame? hahaha. Wouldn't bother me in the least (as long as I have the money to facilitate such a lifestyle)

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  • 4 years ago

    Ahem :Þ "Hahaha... wow Liz that's a very interesting question! I think that would vary between men (in fact I know that it does). There is no set age per se but I think it usually happens in the thirties... and fourties. Depending upon a host of factors including but not limited to genetic inheritance. How did you - a woman - come to have this epiphany?" But seriously, I'm 23 years old and have been invisible all my life :). You become invisible if you don't blend yourself into society.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Becoming "invisible" has nothing to do with age, but about personality.

    There are young people that act old, and older people that have the energy of the younger.

    I will tell you a little story: a couple of months ago I took the train to another city. A woman entered and I couldn't stop watching her as she was so attractive. It was the way she moved, her eyes. She had a special elegance in the way she carried herself. By the skin of her neck I am sure she was in her late 60s but she made all younger women disappear in the carriage.

    Age is so relative.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago


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  • I'm 38...and I'd say it's been within the last year or so that suddenly I feel like I'm a lot less "visible" (lol!) than I used to be.

    Truthfully, it bothered me a little bit at first...but you get used to it. It's really not that bad. Can't be 29 forever! And besides, more often than not, when I get "noticed" now it's more often for what I do or who I am rather than what I look like- and really it's kind of a refreshing change. I gave a speech a couple of weeks ago in one of my college classes on the subject of spirituality- and a few people hugged me after it was over and asked me for copies of my speech. I had no idea anyone would be so moved by what I'd said. It's moments like that, that mean more to me than any "second look" given to me by a stranger passing by me on the street. It's all in how you choose to look at it, I guess.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I find this a very interesting question in that is it the man who no longer notices? Or is it the woman who changes in how she carries herself? I am 42 years old and happily married, yet men still notice me. A woman knows. My husband has even noticed. I am not, in any way some hot mamma by the view of the world. I am a mother to five kids, but I still enjoy life, where the joy of life in my face and am often mistaken for being ten years younger.

    I wonder if it's the message women send, and thus do not fet noticed. But then I have said a thousand tmes that I still feel like I am twenty.

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  • Some of us, simply do bot have the neurotransmitter responsible for streaming presence as it were. How I know??? I am the lady who's order always gets forgotten in between serving other people....

    Source(s): I cannot say it was the lorry, but then the back of my head starts to scream 10x 3 she wants damages
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  • 5 years ago

    If you are smart - never!

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  • 5 years ago

    I am 72 and it seemed I became invisible at the age of 60. Fortunately I have always looked 10 years younger than my actual age. I even noticed at a store that the younger women were asked if they needed any help whereas I was standing there waiting for someone to help me and they just passed me by until I said 'excuse me, could you help me"? Interesting. I did have my day in the sun so I am ok with the change as far as the opposite sex. But at places of business I feel older people should be just as respected as younger ones for business.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I don't think I'll ever become 'invisible' to men.

    But I see what you mean.

    You knew, these women you describe might not be appealing to you anymore, but I'm pretty sure there are other men that would be attracted to them.

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