I can't tell if he's trying to motivate me to lose weight or wants to keep up an image?

I'm 19 and I'm going out with a 29-year-old (soon to be 30) man. I've alays had a few problems with my weight, I mean, it's nothing horrible, I'm only a size 9/10 at 5'9", but I'm not in the best shape.

He keeps saying that he wants me to lose weight to feel better about myself. Well, he's built like a Greek god. I'm starting to wonder if he wants to maintain an image of us as like...the "perfect" couple or something.

We weren't drawn together simply because of the physical aspect of our relationship initially. So I don't know what's going on.

16 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    If he is working out with you than that is okay. but if he is just watching you and telling you to do it than yeah he is just about the image.

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  • 1 decade ago

    You most certainly were drawn to each other because of the physical aspect. You said he was built like a Greek god and he wanted to sleep with you because you are 19 and he also knows that as a 19 year old, he can control you. Right now it's your weight, soon after that it will be your hair, your clothes, your friends...it goes on and on. My advice to you is to get some self esteem and then find someone your own age. Not someone who is almost 30 and sleeping with a teenager. I don't like him, and I don't even have to meet or know him.

  • 1 decade ago

    There's a way to ask someone to loose weight, or encourage someone to loose weight. Bottom line however, is if he really care about you whether you loose the pounds or not, you're still the same person inside! If he's loving and supportive about you loosing the weight, maybe the two of you can exercise together. That would be better than wanting you to shed pounds alone.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Do YOU think you need to lose weight to feel better about yourself? If you are happy with the way you are, than just tell him that. A size 9/10 at 5'9 does not sound like you need to lose weight. You sound healthy to me. Don't let him try to change who you are. ;)

  • Barb B
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    Okay...so...lemme see if I have this straight..You say you are okay with your weight saying it's "nothing horrible". And he's telling you to lose weight to feel better about yourself.

    That's manipulative. He works on being a 'greek god' and evidently feels you need to be a 'greek godess'.

    If he was at least honest by saying that physical fitness is very important to him and asking where it ranks for you, that would be one thing. But the back-handed thing where's he's indirectly telling you that you should feel bad about yourself in your present condition - and that you'd feel better about yourself if you lost weight - that's manipulation. In my opinion, he indirectly insulted you. If he does not see that or want to admit it to himself or you, then that's a whole 'nother thing.

    You having the desire to work on looking like a greek godess should be your decision - not a product of his back-handed hints that you have something to feel bad about related to how you look.

    Source(s): My frank opinion.
  • 1 decade ago

    Maybe he is just concern of your health or to let you lose some baby fats. How did you end up with a man 10 years your senior ?Is he a baby snatcher ? He is too old for you and experienced. Be careful he might not be serious with you.Go out with guys nearer your age group.

  • 1 decade ago

    Sounds to me as if this one is looking for a younger lady to make him look even better. Don't buy into his crap, if YOU feel as if you need to loose weight, go for it, but NEVER loose weight for anyone else but yourself. You sound just fine to me, size ten is not even considered plus size! You are young and thin and beautiful, other guys are probably waiting in the wings if this one doesn't work out.

  • Ren
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    If you've talked down on yourself and said you feel like you're fat, unattractive, out of shape, etc etc. then I'd say he's thinking about you and your general health and wellbeing. If you have not vocalized these things, then I'm afriad he's just concerned about your image as a couple.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    well first of all you are 10 years apart

    and you should ask him if he wants you to loose weight for you to feel better about your self or if he is just embarrest about you

    ask him and if it makes you feel better i am 5'4'' at 174lbs

    and i am like a size 14

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