Ladies, you like mushrooms?

Sam met his friend Morris on the street. "Morris," he said, "I haven't seen you in years. You look terrible - what's happened?"

"You won't believe," said Morris. I got married three times in the last three years and buried three wives!"

"How terrible, Morris, how tragic," Sam said. "What happened?"

"Three years ago, I married this rich widow, and she died a month later after eating poison mushrooms. A year later, I met this wealthy divorcee, and she died a month after we married, again from poison mushrooms. Then last year, I married again, and a month later, she died."

"Don't tell me," Sam said. "Poison mushrooms."

"No, a fractured skull," said Morris. "She wouldn't eat the poison mushrooms."

Sorry not a lot of jokes, just got out of hospital, recovering.

35 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Jake Honey sorry to hear that youve been sick i hope you feel more like yourself soon. You always brighten my day I hope i can brighten yours some. so hear we go. My daughter over heard My sister and I talking about my sons vision problems and how the doctor wanted to put a pack over his good eye to let his other eye become stronger. She said mom wont that make his IQ lower in that eye? We had a hard time answering that question for a few minutes LOL. Get well soon Michelle

    Source(s): Me
    • Login to reply the answers
  • 1 decade ago

    I hope you were not in the hospital for a fractured skull or eating poisonous mushrooms. Seriously though get well soon.

    • Login to reply the answers
  • 1 decade ago

    I think it's a very cute joke Jake! Didn't know you were in the hospital..hope all is well and that you are recovering fast! Best wishes! Lucy....xoxo

    I made up a tongue twister just for you...

    Jakes Jokes:

    Julie Jackson Jokes that Jake's Jokes Just Joyfully Jack Julie,Joan, John, Jack, Jim and Jackie Johnson up! Jakes Jokes Jam!!!!

    I know, kinda corny...but just thought I'd do something especially for you Jake! You bring many smiles to our faces everyday..thank you! You should write a it "Jake's Jokes"......but when you get rich and famous..please don't forget about me?!

    • Login to reply the answers
  • 1 decade ago

    good one jake

    i didnt know you were ill ...hope you get well soon fella.

    i found this hospital joke for you.....

    A woman lay in a coma in the hospital while the nurses were in her room giving her a sponge bath. One of them was washing her private area and noticed that there was a response on the monitor when she touched her.

    They went to her husband and explained what happened, telling him, "Crazy as this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick and bring her out of the coma."

    The husband was skeptical, but they assured him that they’d close the curtains for privacy. The hubby finally agreed and went into his wife’s room. After a few minutes the woman’s monitor flat lined, no pulse, no heart rate.

    The nurses rushed into the room. " What happened?" they cried. The husband said, "I dunno. I guess she choked."

    • Login to reply the answers
  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • 1 decade ago

    Jake old mate.

    Like everyone one else Im sorry to hear you have been ill.

    Hope you get back on deck soon, and keep the jokes coming man, your fans all need ya!!

    Praying for you man


    • Login to reply the answers
  • 1 decade ago

    Aawww. Sorry you were in the hospital. I hope you feel better soon. What was the matter, poison mushrooms? Lol

    • Login to reply the answers
  • cheri
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    Lol Jakes i hope you are ok - or did you get the poison mushrooms - get well soon

    • Login to reply the answers
  • hey man!! at least you out!! i hate hospitals... anywho i hope your recovering goes well and here is a little funny joke i thought might cheer you up!!! ♥


    An old man was in bed with his wife when suddenly he let out a loud fart. He yelled, "7 points!"

    His wife looked at him and said, "What the hell are you doing?"

    He simply replied, "Just playing bed football."

    Ten minutes later the wife let a loud one and said, "Tie game - 7,7."

    The husband's competitive side kicked in and he started starting straining... when suddenly he crapped his pants! His wife looks over and said, "Now what's the score?"

    He said, "Still 7,7. End of quarter switch sides!!!"

    • Login to reply the answers
  • 1 decade ago

    Funny, Joke !!!! I will never eat anther mushroom ever. LOL get well soon, Will be praying for a speedy recovery.

    • Login to reply the answers
  • LOL Good joke, Jake! Sorry to hear you were in the Hospital... hope all is well now!

    • Login to reply the answers
Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.