Kim asked in Pregnancy & ParentingAdolescent · 1 decade ago

Help! I am a single mom raising my 12 year old son who doesnt want to do anything but play video games.?

He is not a bad child, but he shows no interest in school. Doesn't listen, don't pay attention. I mean he totally is in his own world. I tried everything, tutoring, taking away his games, talking- it doesn't work. He sits and listens to me, but doesn't follow out. Like I said he is a sweet and friendly child, but lack of interest and attention is causing him to fail in school and seriously stressing me out. I work full-time and cannot sit in class to make sure he is attentive. Reality in life is that everything is not always going to be fun and games, some things we have to do, like school. I try to explain that to him, I don't no what else to do. Any suggestions?

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    Take away the video games and only allow him to access them for 30 minutes a day.

    12 years old is a child and children need boundaries, discipline and control.

    You're the only one who can give him that. Lock the video game up so he can't get to it when you are not home.

    Don't use the video game as a "reward", just make it another activity...homework, hanging out with your friends, eating dinner, 30 minutes of video games, some TV, etc. Don't make a big thing of it and explain your reasoning behind limiting the games.

    Say something like:

    You're a great kid and I'm so lucky to have you. I've been noticing that you've been spending so much time wiht your games that you haven't had much time to enjoy everything else in life! From now on, we're going to have 30 minutes of video game time a day and the rest of the day can be spent with other activities. Do you have any opinions on this?

    Then let him voice his opinion but stay firm. Help him to find other activities; maybe sign him up for some after school activities like soccer.

    I was raised with NO video games and my little siblings were given a video game and it's made my dad's life MISERABLE! So he has limited their time and it's working.

    Good luck!

  • I know you said you already took his games away but from what everything else it seems that he has them back. I would take them away completely. School comes first period. I would also take an hour from my job for one day and speak with his teachers. Ask them to write a progress report for the end of each week that he will be required to take home and have you sign and return. (most teachers are happy to do this). then develop a reward system. like a good progress report earns him video game time on the weekends or maybe his favorite dinner. something. then if he recieves a bad progress report he gets things taken away, like has to eat spinach for dinner or no tv all weekend. if there is a reason to do better in school (like rewards) then he will be more inclined to want to follow through. if this doesn't work then I think he needs to be evalutated by a special needs worker, he may have a learning disability that he doesn't know how to cope with it. like reading slow or getting his words mixed up. kids with learning disabilities are embarrassed by it and have a hard time talking about it. it feels better to just have everyone think that they don't want to do the work than they can't do the work. good luck and god bless!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Well for starters, the school system is just that. A system, it alienates people, don't expect many children to enjoy school. Second, video games are not a system, they are an escape from a system, they are enjoyment that school cannot offer, and third, you have to find a way to make school fun. Maybe education video games, or find him a book he really likes to ready, preferable a series.

  • 1 decade ago

    I think Lainey and Jenna have both given you good advice.

    I'm an adult (by many years) and I love my computer games... but at his age they can easily take over... heck, at my age they might if my wife didn't 'remind' me that I have other things to do!

    Taking them away completely is pretty harsh... I would try for something in between... at least first...

    I'm not sure about the 'not as a reward' thing... that's your call there :)

    The tough thing is that at 12, he's just old enough he wants to think for himself but he can't yet realize the results of all his actions.

    If you need more advice, please drop me a line... I have three teachers in the family who are all working with kids in about that age range... I'd be happy to ask them what they think if you need it...

    Good luck!

    eagr2b@yahoo.com

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  • 1 decade ago

    Now, if i were his mom, i would cut him off entirely. You would have to understand this will be extremely hard on your part, and his also. But, if you take away everything, and force him to work on school stuff, it will probably benefit in the end.

    Tell him that if he goes against this, you will take a bat to his systems with no intentions of buying them for him again. You must be serious, because (And no offense) this is a serious problem.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    maybe you should take the video games away and give him a wake up call, a burst of reality, get him a tutor in school and if he still has trouble maybe you can sit down with him and help him until he understands.

  • 1 decade ago

    though it is un healthy to be playing games, make the learning apart of games there is alot of money in game design. look up what he needs in school for that field of work and he might start to show intrest.

  • 1 decade ago

    ok basicly have u ever thoght about that could be a disorder or that his brain is too stimulated from games i use to not beable to tare away from games ether try limiting game play time

  • 1 decade ago

    theres a lotta kids at my school who are like that.

    try to get him to do something fun and social but still gives him exercise. swimming is a good choice, especially since spring is here.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    my brother did nothing but video games too. eventually my dad broke his game system. but thats a waste of money; so take the system and ask one of your trustable friends to hold on to it for you. then give him books to read and schoolwork to do. then when he starts to do better gradually give him his game back.

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