I am so sorry for the loss of you mother and other family and friends. Death is so hard on the soul, it's so final sometimes it hard to comprehend. I have went through a lot of loss just in the last 5 years: I lost my Aunt Angel, and Grandmother within 2 months when I was 16, my other aunt at 17, then lost 2(young men) good family friends at 18, one was a suicide. I am 20 now and have not lost anyone since, but my sister has a Huntingtons disease and chances of her survival past 35 is extremely low. It saddens me too the core, and cannot imagine feeling that 'death' feeling agaib not to mention the exact same feeling you describe, so so so depressed. I too try to think that we live forever but every so often, my perfect world comes tumbling down when another life leaves my life. So, I know exactly how you are feeling and I am so sorry you have to go through this =( I will keep you Husband's friend in my prayers.