how to speed up arranged marriages?

well.. I am 25f & i have lived in the US for over 5 years; originally from a traditional family in india. I have conflicting thoughts about arranged marriages, now that I am going through it. When i talk with family, it seems to be the obvious choice; when I talk to friends and coworkers here, it feels stupid of me that I am even considering arranged marriages & I do not hv a bf now... I do not want to be single any more.. How I get hitched fast by arranged marriage system so that my parents are happy & also that I find somebody who I can live with for the rest of my life? What should I be asking the "potential candidates" & also how do I interact with them?

12 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Dear sister,

    Don't be hurry.

    Most of the people are failed to choose a right partner.

    Life partner must be for your happiness not for the parents.

    You can put your details in a good matrimonial site.

    Physical,mental ,professional ,financial matches are to be counted.

    And speak clear that what you expect from a life partner.

    At least 6 months study and communicate with them.

    If you satisfied,then only do the further step.

    Be intelligent.

    Choose only right partner.

    Take your own time.

    Life is only yours.

    And if you want the long time happiness of your parents,do more hard work.

    Any short -cut may lead the life long hell.

    Best of luck and a happy married life.

  • Lynne
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    Arranged Marriages aren't just practised by Muslims. It was racist of you to single out a specific group. Arranged marriages are predominant in the world and *gasp* a norm. It was practised in the West and still is. Just because you don't understand the way a community or civilisation lives, does not make them inferior or weird, I'm sure any real anthropologist will tell you. As for Islam, if a male or female is forced to marry someone, the marriage is annulled. According to Islam they aren't counted as Husband and Wife unless both parties are WILLING. Simple as. As with your friend there are two things you shouldn't get confused like many do: 1.His religion. In Islam, he has full right to tell his parents he won't get married by force. 2. His culture. In many cultures, one has to obey the parents even if they're wrong. Which is wrong. Also, the partners are allowed and encouraged to meet and talk before marriage. But not beyond that. In Islam, you CHOSE your partner BUT don't do anything sexual with them UNTIL marriage. That is what an arranged marriage is supposed to be. Force marriages are wrong, not arranged marriages. Like one Bollywood star said: I want to love the person I'm arranged to marry. And be arranged to marry the one I love.

  • 1 decade ago

    I have been thru what you are talking now. I am also here in US for 4 yrs. Plz plz do not do this mistake. I am suffering with my husband. I was just like it u explained. I might ask for a divorce as well it so bad. I had a bf too, turned out to be a cheater. Life is not simple dear, touch wood, it has been good for u so far. Dont blindly marry someone. Its foolish and rubbish. Parents and family, they dont understand us. They belong to a different ear, We are falling into a different phase of changes.

    My suggestion is no matter how much time it takes, its worth waiting for the right person. Choose him of ur own not by parents. It could be dangerous.

    Arranged marriage is not not not good. I am an Indian. It is foolish.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Arranged marriages have more success that non arranged marriages so some people say on here.

    I think maybe your family might know you better and help you pick somebody. Dont rush it though. That will lead to disaster.

    As them things like if they want kids, what they see for the future, what do they believe about god and how to raise kids. As them if they believe marriage is forever. As them if they are marrying for love. You should find out if they are hard workding and if they love money to much or don't care about it enough. See if the guy is smart or edcuated cause you dont wanna be doing all the thinkin

    As them if they plan on staying in the US or moving back to India or anything. Find out how the person feels about women and if he feels superior.

    Find out that the things you feel are important you agree on. That is the best thing.

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  • 1 decade ago

    See If u do arrange marriage u have good choice and go for it.u can select Ur life partner Jase Thum KO chahea.First ask about him his + and - things, his like and dislike.then tell about u.Go with him for 1 or 2 dates then u will have an idea about him.see like this it will be arrange marriage and even the love marriage because u have selected a person whom u have like the most on earth with whom u have made a dession to get knot with him

  • 1 decade ago

    I think that arranged marriages have a lot going for them.

    I am English and have 2 brothers and a sister.

    Amongst that small group, our children have had the following experiences

    Boy - married, re-married (one child) re-married

    Boy - married (one child) re-married

    Girl - married (three children) with new partner (with 3 children)

    Boy - married (one child)

    Boy - married (two children) re-married

    Girl - married (one child)

    Girl - married, remarried (one child)

    Girl - married (one child) divorced

    Girl - partner (one child) 2nd partner (one child) married (one child)

    Boy - partner (one child) married

    Do I need to go on? There are four more to come (younger so not actually at same stage as others)

    My youngest daughter is now 26 and with a very unsuitable boy who has 2 children previously by two other girls.

    I would love to arrange a marriage for her through my large group of female friends.But, of course, that would be frowned on. So, I must watch her making a terrible mistake and stand back and say nothing.

    I know this isn't really helping you.

    Look for kindness in a man, some one with a sense of humour, hard-working and who likes children. He may not be

    exciting - but, I still love my husband and he has all those qualities. (35 years married). Don't be too pushy at first, and (dare I say it in this enlightened age) don't let him take too much before you are married

  • 1 decade ago

    You are only 25yrs old. So what's the rush? Read more on yahoo answers how many people coming here asking for advice for problems after they got married just b/c they didn't take their time. You live in the USA at this time considered yourself free from doing what's best for you not letting other people to rule or tell you what to do with your life. You are lucky!

    I read the other day here on yahoo answer a lady from your country desperate even mentioned the world suicide b/c the hell she is living in. Don't take your freedom here for granted..take your time.

    Good luck!

  • 1 decade ago

    see if u want to marry soon of ur choice then go to shaadi.com and u will find boy of ur choiceand now u want to interact then choose some common topic so that u both can talk that time u see how he is behaving with u and ur parents .and whatever u want in ur mr right ask him direct or indirect.ok bye god bless u in choosing ur mr right .ok

  • .
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    You should arrange this too.....why the hurry? Take your time and get married to the man of your choice.

  • gosain
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    Shhadi.com

    Lifepartner.com

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