Ethan S asked in Social SciencePsychology · 1 decade ago

Can an abused person ever accept Love?

I met this girl last year (I'm 32 she's 27) and we got on so well we could talk about many different things it was as she opened up to me she told me about her childhood how at the age of five years her father beat the hell out of her.

The abuse she sustained from both her mother and father left her with broken bones and very close to death her mother all throughout her life has wished her dead and said "You're no good" it was at the hands of another family member (as a teenager) she was abused mentally/physically/emotionally and dare I say sexually.

She told me how she felt about me last year and went as far as actually proposing to me, I am a person of Love and whenever we spoke I told her how much I Loved her.

It was a few weeks later her family came back into her life and they (the family) forced me out of her life, I've done so much for her and I Love her to bits I just fear that her lifelong conditioning has now been engrained so that she could never accept Love.

Update:

To add the other relative (who abused her) is a corrupt man and has links to the police which would explain why hes (to my knowledge) never been arrested.

14 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I feel that her very own mindset and attitude twds trusting and love actually plays the most important role in sustaining your r/s with her.

    Since she is already an adult, i believe under the law (correct me if i'm wrong) the RIGHT, the HUMAN right to protect herself from any physical mental or emotional harm. I suggest that you talk to her, ask her out secretly for a chat. Convince her to leave that 'home'. Believe me, that's not a family she should stick with.

    Being brought up with an abusive father, uncaring and understanding mother and even relatives who cannot provide her with the love she needs, this is exactly what you need to provide her with. Love needs no teaching. I'm sure she will be able to accept, or even reciprocate your feelings twds you. Given that she even shared her darkest secrets with you, she has already given you her trust. Do not let her down. Care and be sensitive to her. It might seem a little hard initially, but don't give up!

    What you can do to lift her out of her 27 years of suffering, is to compensate the rest of her lifetime with love. Good Luck(: Wish both of you happiness and bliss(:

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  • 1 decade ago

    You have my sympathies.

    I had a very similar experience. We were very much in love - even talking about marriage and kids. But then she went to visit her father (one of the abusers) and when she came back dumped me over the phone, without giving any explanation.

    However I don't suppose there's any reason that an abused person can't accept love - this particular woman did for a while. Everyone deals with these things in different ways...

    Love, sex and abuse may get blurred in the mind of an abused person. Perhaps its the long-term commitment / trust that would be difficult?

    Ultimately, I was not the right man for her.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Love is the most wonderful thing in life because even the poorest person in the world can have it.It's because love is a feeling that no one can define.It comes from your sentiment.Even the most 'worn-out' person can feel it.

    Only by loving somebody,one can reach the soul of another.

    There're many facts that love has cured even mentally sickness.Like music has done some great contributions to some broken hearted people around the world.

    Just be slowly like a waterfall slowly erase a big rock underneath.by time,she'll get better.

    Good luck.

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  • 1 decade ago

    They can, but it takes a long time. Just love her unconditionally, and show it. Also make sure she knows that she can trust you. She is 27, her family shouldn't be allowed to force her out of a relationship with you. I really think that she would thrive with the right type of love.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Well i have definately never been in her position, but I can imagine how much pain she is in. I think even though shes in a position like that, she cant just push someones love for her away from her like that if she feels the same way about them.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Yes you can. You can possibly explain even to some authorities about her family history of abuse. I'm sure her family can be barred from her in some way.

    Best of luck to you.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Love can happen to anyone dude, no matter if you were rich, poor, healthy or abused, and as far as i know, I think she needs you beside her and I certainly think that you need to help her out. Do what your heart says man, take care

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  • Anonymous
    4 years ago

    no matter what a person does to you, if you're right and centered inside yourself, you can move away from the abuse and love.

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  • sher
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    I think they are able to love and accept love, it is trust they may need to take some time with.

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  • Of Course!!!

    My parents use to beat me!!!

    And I accept love.

    But why is she going to let her parents tell her what to do with her life????

    Thats really messed up.

    You should take her away... maybe.. far away

    And make her never see her parents again

    They sound like *** holes!!!

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