smoking weed and drinkin a lot at 14?

my boyfriend is 14 and his brother died about 4 years ago and his mum died 6 months ago. After his brother died, his dad started drinkin all the time and beats him up. Since his mum died hes been smoking weed a lot and drinking. I want to help him but when he told me about his dad beating him up he told me not to tell anyone. I was at his house the other day and his dad didnt know i was there and his dad started punching him in the face it was awful and i didnt know what to do. how can i help him?

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  • 1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    report to the police., and observe the dad., call the rehab!!!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You can either call the police and have your boyfriend put charges on him. He will be restrained and made to go to AA.

    But he will be sent to a foster home or rehab himself.

    Or

    You could advise family services and if the circumstances are bad enough they will either monitor the situation weekly and get the father into rehab & counselling and they boyfriend

    or they will take your boyfriend away from the father to a foster home.

    You need to prepare for him to end up in a foster home or find a really good friend and family that he could stay with until he of age.

    Also, maybe contact family services annonomysly and ask see what they will do??

  • momof4
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    apparently his father has either always been abusive or he doesnt know how to handle his anger issues over losing a son and wife. i really feel for your boyfriend and i can understand that he wouldnt want you to tell but do you really want to lose him too? what happens when his dad starts punching and doesnt stop? you really need to find an adult to talk to about this...do not let this just keep happening to him, although he says he doesnt need help your boyfriend's use of weed and beer is a cry for help. He needs to be in some kind of counseling for what he has gone through and he needs to be away from a father that is constantly beating him. Its not going to be easy and it may lead to your boyfriend being removed from his home and put into a foster home but you have to report this (better for him to be going there than to the morgue!). Find a teacher or counselor at school to confide in. You do not have to tell them he is drinking and doing drugs but do tell them that you witnessed his father hitting him and that you know he is engaging in some unsafe activities in order to make it through the pain he is encountering....please please get him some help before its too late. (on top of all this..weed leads to worse drugs and you dont want him messing with that stuff!)

  • 1 decade ago

    Even though your b/f told you not to, I might report the dad to child services. If your boyfriend smokes and drinks you should talk to a trusted adult to see if they can stop him doing these terrible things. It will ruin the rest of his life if he becomes a drunk or a druggie. He's been through A LOT of hard stuff, I think he needs to get away from his dad. If you report his dad, he will be angry but it is the right thing to do. Poor guy....

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  • 1 decade ago

    Simply by reporting him. Don't wait until he kills him or hospitalizes him to wanna tell the police everything and all details. Evidently this has been going on for some time.Stop it now before it's too late.You can call without anyone knowing it was you. Don't even tell your BF you're doing it b/c it's one thing that's still his dad for life. He's gonna always love him no matter what. But that's life.Good luck

    Both of you are too young to be talking about BF.& GF.

  • 1 decade ago

    It never fails to amaze me how people give sick, insiduous answers to heart breaking questions like this! The answer is that his dad is actual bodily harming your boyfriend and as he is only 14, he needs to seek the advice of a police officer. He can call in at the local nick and ask for advice in the first instance .... he must do something here ... suggest you go with him for support and as a witness. What is worse .. live in a hell house or get himself sorted to a safer, less violent future. Plus your boyfriend needs to sort himself out urgently anyway .... drugs and drink at 14 is simply a waste of his teenage years! Good luck ..

  • 1 decade ago

    WOW being as almost everyone left rude, crappy answers I think you should really consider getting him some help. No one should have to suffer in an unfit home. If he is old enough to get on drugs (which is not a good idea) then he should be old enough to emancipate himself and find a home with someone else he knows. No one should ever have to suffer an abusive parent, it will only get worse. And silence may kill.

  • 1 decade ago

    Your in a tight spot because your boyfriend doesnt want you to tell. But at the same time, his dad could end up killing him! You should really tell someone. Either your parents, or an adult and they will be able to find someone to take care of that. You need to tell your boyfriend to not drink alot because he'll end up like his dad. To me, smoking is ok, but at a certain extent. I dont think he should be smoking at such an early age because then he can get addicted later. You really need to talk out to someone because if you really love you boyfriend alot, and you dont want him to wound up dead, you would talk.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I feel so sorry for him, he must be living in hell. If you're in england he could phone childline but its a crying shame. Until he's 16, old enough to get a job and get out of there he's pretty much stuck, though smoking and drinking cant be helping him much. Cant he live with another relative?

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    If you saw it first hand, then I think you should tell your parents or another adult about it right away. Perhaps you would feel more comfortable telling a teacher.

    The important thing is to make sure that we get your friend out of a very dangerous situation. Your friend needs your help right now. Don't let him down. Tell a trusted adult what you saw today.

  • 1 decade ago

    You need to call your local child protective services immediately. Even if you are anonymous. Your boyfriend needs help and he will not have a future if he stays in his current situation. Abusive, probably unsupportive father, drugs and alcohol. Not a good life for a young boy. He needs help.

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