Dog and Cat Joke......?

DOG DIARY

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

CAT DIARY

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with

Bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh

Meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry

Nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly

Clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their

Feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since

It clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely

Made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.

Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I

Was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.

However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard

That my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must

Learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of

My tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must

Try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and

Snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly

Released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is

Obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating

With the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every

Move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an

Elevated cell, so he is safe.

For now...

The Cat!

Update:

The cat is the best part.....

Update 2:

Yes I got this as a forward. It totally cracked me up and I wanted to share it with everybody. Too cute.....

16 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol

    that was the funniest thing i have ever read!!!

  • Anonymous
    4 years ago

    Dog Cat Diary Joke

  • Anonymous
    4 years ago

    Hi, I understand that you are looking for some advice or resources to help fully train your dog or fix behavior problems. If a professional dog trainer is not an option at this time, or if you want to trt training your dog on your own (a great way to bond), I'd suggest you https://biturl.im/aU9Ya

    A friend recommened it to me a few years ago, and I was amazed how quickly it worked, which is why I recommend it to others. The dog training academy also has as an excellent home training course.

  • 1 decade ago

    great! the cat's got a Stewie demeanor

    I love cats, and Stewie's the best

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  • 1 decade ago

    I sent that in about 20 e-mails. You got it from an e-mail, didn't you?

    Don't worry, it still makes me laugh.

  • 1 decade ago

    Great, Loved it

  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

    Funny funny funny

  • shesho
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    So funny! my ribs hurt from laughing!

  • 1 decade ago

    ha ha ha

  • 1 decade ago

    that is too cute =0)

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