Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingParenting · 1 decade ago

Should I Be Concerned?

Ok i am starting to worry.Almost every day my fiance takes my kids out to the park or out for ice cream or just to go for a walk.But when they come back there quiet and seem to be nice.Yesterday while giveing my sons a bath i noticed that the oldest twin out of the two had two small purple bruises on his left arm.While his younger twin brother had a cut on his leg.Theese were never here.And i noticed that my sons Thing has bruises on it.Should i be concerned about whats happening between my son and there father?Help!!

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Ditto Music Man!!! What he said.

    It is your responsibility to take action if your boys are being hurt. Ask your kids what happened and then ask your hubby... see if the stories differ or if you notice anything strange!!

    I have two boys.. and am here to tell you I have NEVER seen bruises on their things!!!

    Something happened, innocent or not, something happened that should be easily explained if it was innocent (and the only thing I could think of that would cause bruising there is something both nephews and one of my boys did... when they were first potty training, the lid of the toilet shut on their things, omg... but, I don't remember even that causing bruises.)

    Between talking to all of them you should have a serious sense of what is going on... and follow your instincts... a mothers instincts are rarely wrong!!!

  • I would be asking some serious questions..i know kids can get hurt especially rough and tumble boys but if you have concerns you need to ask the question because ignoring it is almost like encouraging the actions. If you ask and he gets extremely defensive i would be worried. Maybe you could ask the children where the bruises are coming from before confronting him. I really hope for your sake that this is just boys being boys...good luck!

    EDIT : I didn't put 2 and 2 together ......if your boys are playing up to the degree you state and especially if they are violent i they have to be getting this behaviour from somewhere and it sounds a bit suspicious. Is your partner hard on them in front of you???

  • NBree
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    Wow.. tough situation. You don't want to accuse your fiance, especially if nothing is going on, and you definitely don't want your boys being abused.

    What I would do if talk to my kid's pediatrician. I would tell him my fears and have my kids in to be checked out. I'm sure the doctor knows what to look for and what questions to ask. That way, when I confronted my fiance I can say something like "The boy's doctor believes the boys are being abused. Do you know anything about that?" If nothing is going on, then it isn't like you're the one accusing him of being a child molester.

    After that, I would still contact the police and have them investigate. Better safe then sorry.

  • 1 decade ago

    since you're the same "parent" with the out of control twins, my guess is that their father has finally had enough and started trying to get them inline while out in public, where you're too embarrassed to take them. Frankly, the fact that you haven't asked him about the bruises yet means you have no clue what you're doing. Yes, there may be a reasonable explanation for them, or just maybe he took the advice of some of the other people in your other question and actually hit them.

    I hope for the sake of your 3rd kid that you get this discipline thing figured out.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    if you came into a hospital and i was your sons nurse, this would alert me. if would be seen as a sign of sexual abuse. i think you should be worried. dont let him take the children out anymore. how old are your children. im guessing that they are young. try asking them if the remember how they got the bruises in the first place.

    your fiance may have told them not to say anything so tell them that they wont get in trouble. call the police your sons welfare is far more important then your fiancee.

    Source(s): nurse
  • 1 decade ago

    if ur that worried take them to the local er and have them both examined, explain to the er what u think is goin' on, and to be safe have them both checked. its better to be safe then sorry. also, ask your kids questions and pay attenction to how they act, make sure u let them know they've did nothin' wrong. also, how old are these kids? your kids safety should be your first poritory. good luck

  • 1 decade ago

    If you have any suspensions you need to follow through with them. Talk to you sons and assure them that you will protect them no matter what they tell you. You have to keep your children safe. If there is something happening to them, it will scar them for the rest of their lives unless you make it stop. Suggest going with your fiance on their outings and watch his reaction. That may be the clue you need! But please don't let this go, protect your children!

  • 1 decade ago

    Why don't you spy on them on these outings? Wait til they've gone out, then follow them. See what happens.

    Or, try getting your friend to do it for you. Same thing, when they go out, he or she follow them and just keep an eye out on what happens.

    It's probably nothing, with the kids being boys and all, but just there's no harm to be cautious.

  • 1 decade ago

    1. Ask your kids to tell you how they got them. Pay attention to body language.

    2. Once you've suspected something, then you have every reason to be concerned. Call protective services.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    ask your sons how it happened, depending on their answers confront your fiance.... this is very serious and you need to make sure that he doesn't have any "alone time" with them until you get to the bottom of it .

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