I'm on a self destructive path...i'm ruining my life!!! help!!!!!!!?
Ever since I switched to another class in about september 2007, I fell
in love with this guy ...just ever since I saw him, I loved him.
So I asked people about him and found out a little about him.
So I started saying hi and I tried talking to him in between classes and
we would sometimes have small talk lol..
But somehow..he started like hating me and saying that I'm annoying.
so 4 months pass by and basically the short version of those 4 months is
that I absolutely loved him and he absolutely hated me. It tore me apart
literally. I used to sit in my closet and cry every night about how he
didn't love me back. I would try to talk to him in the hall and he would
ignore me or when he would talk, he would be annoyed. I'm 13 and I know
a lot of people think at 13, you can't be in love, but you can. Age
doesn't matter..I mean I would do anything for him. He meant the world
to me. I love him more than anyone.
But it all changed on December 12, 2007.
I was walking with him in the hall, and I said "will you give me a
chance?" and he said yes! like I was in total shock because I was
expecting a no. And so I say.."so we're going out now?" and he says
I felt like my stomach flipped. I was soo happy..I think that was the
best day ever. Nothing was better than that.
But then...people start saying that he's just going out with me not to
hurt my feelings..and I start to believe those rumors. And I think they
were true at the beginning of the relationship but as time passed, our
relationship grew stronger and stronger.
So fast forward to about january.
By this point, we are head over heels for eachother. we were sneaking
out to see eachother, we felt comfortable around eachother, we felt like
we were the only people in the world. it was amazing.
But we started getting in trouble because of our relationship..no one
took us seriously. they all thought it was just a little crush. His mom
didnt like me because we talked like 24/7 on the phone. we were always
together..we sneaked out of the house to be together. I even jumped out
a window to see him!!. But me and my mom..our relationship grew apart.
we constantly got into fights about the stupidest little junk. I picked
fights with my stepdad for no reason. My mom kept thinking the worst of
me and my boyfriend. she just didn't understand. All of this resulted
with the cops coming to my house because of a fight with me and my mom.
My dad ended up buying an airplane ticket to NY to go live with him 2
I started crying...I didn't know what to do.
When you love somebody that much...and you leave them..what are you
supposed to do?
The day came. I had to leave. I saw him for the last time, for 30
minutes, right before I had to leave for the airport. We just
talked..and at the last moment, we kissed and the kiss was so memorable
because at the end of our kiss, he said I love you in the most
heartbreaking way. it was so sad. from that point, everything went down
Its very heartbreaking to know that your own parents would do this to
their own child. Its killing me.
Its been about a month since I left.
We called eachother every day.
We loved eachother. We were sure the distance wouldn't change the love
we have. Because I knew I was coming back.
But this really traumatized me. I'm slowly ruining myself and I know
I've started using drugs, drinking, cutting myself, you name it. just to
get away from the pain.
About a few days ago, I sent him a text message saying "do you still
love me? text back if no, call if yes"
he replied with a text saying "sorry...".
That killed me. That's when things got veryy bad. I started getting high
constantly to escape the pain.
I started cutting myself everyday.
I skip school all the time and I'm failing every class.
I'm on a self destructive path.
But luckily I still have hope. I might be coming back to Florida (where
I lived in the first place) in 2 weeks because I didn't take some state
tests or something.
I KNOW he still loves me. he's confused. I'm not in denial- I know it.
the love we have doesn't just dissappear like that. I KNOW if I come
back, it will all come back to normal. I know that if he sees me, it
will all return. the distance has created a problem but I can feel it in
my heart that I can fix it. I just know it.
I don't understand how my parents could be so cruel to seperate us like
this. I try to tell them but they think its just a joke.
I feel like I'm screaming on the inside but nobody hears.
My life is going downhill..the long distance is killing me.
I can't get over him...I love him too much. He's the most important
thing to me in the whole world. I know its not over and if it truly is,
ill continue with my self destructive ways.
I don't know what to do..
I'm losing my mind.
I'm only 13 but I face these very adult issues.
I feel if I don't do something, I'm gonna go completely insane.
Please, somebody tell me your insight or advice on my story. I really
need to know what to do. I'm so lost!
Thank you soo much :)
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
not to be mean but r u crazy??? drugs are horrible things and don't be emo. if he still loves you once he see you like this he won't anymore stop the drugs and hurting yourself and try to restart your life. when you go back see if he still likes you but i'm pretty sure if he sees you with drugs he won't like you any more so please stop!!!!! and don't hurt youself anymore.
- 1 decade ago
There is a difference between love and obsession. I don't believe that your problems started with this guy. You need to talk to a therapist so you can get to the root of all of this before you destroy your life. I personally believe that there is not a person on the face of this earth who wouldn't benefit from a few sessions with a good therapist. We all have problems. It sounds like you just need a little help in learning how to deal with yours. You're correct in saying that you are self destructing. That is something that only you can control. If you are mature enough to love someone else, then you should be mature enough to understand that you also have to love and respect yourself. Show yourself some love and respect by telling your dad that you would like for him to find you a good therapist. If he is unable to do that for you then talk to a school counselor or preacher. The more that you put into making yourself the best person that you can be the better girlfriend -and someday wife and mother - you will be. Set self-improvement as a goal in your life and start working toward that goal today. You can do it! God bless you!
- Anonymous1 decade ago
well..i don't know hoe to start but first let me tell you this if you ever wanna talk i'm here for you. because i feel the same way sometimes.not exactly the same way but i get angry and feel all alone. ok so you'r parents must have thought your wasting you'r life and you'll be fine if you went away from him.don't expect them to understand you'r problem. but keep good relationship with you'r family because after all they'll always be with you no matter what. and they love you. next thing is to stop with all the bad things just stop it you have you'r whole life ahead of you don't waste it like that. and if you go back and this guy falls in love with you again that's good. but if he does'nt then you should probably think about forgetting about him. there are a lot of guys who are better than him. but if you wanna talk some more just mail me at email@example.com. i'd really like to talk to you. i hope this helps you a little.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Definitely talk to somebody like a counselor. The huge shock of moving away like that would also affect the things that you are putting yourself through now.
Long distance relationships are extremely hard things to control, as you can never really understand what is going on in his life. You two are young, and although you seemed to have a great relationship, both of you may have wanted different things out of it.
Things in life change all the time, and the most important person to you at one moment can be the person who hurts you most the next. Make sure you keep in contact with your friends/find some new friends near your dads place to ensure that you are surrounded by people who care about you.
The fact is, he may have simply moved on and, although he may still care about you, doesn't see the practicality in a future together. You need to start taking care of yourself as you are the most important person in your life. If this means making contact with him and making sure you both know what each other wants, then do that. But drugs and hurting yourself make the situation a whole lot worse in the long run.
As difficult as things may seem now, try to arrange to talk to a counselor about the stuff you have to deal with at the moment.
I'm not quite sure what else to say... except I hope you know where you want to go in life because you can never let anybody drag you away from your dreams.
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- 1 decade ago
It sounds really dramatic for your story,but I think even though you like the guy that much you shouldn't use ways to hurt yourself..I know how you feel that you guys were pretty close together but you gotta face the reality that you are living miles and miles away from him and you should know that distance love would never work out.I'm not trying to say things on the opposite but try to slowly forget him and start a new life in your area.Like theres a reason your parents would do this because they feel maybe your not doing as great as before for your school because of him.A good method is to try and plan things out today at this split second and fill in your schedule to occupy yourself everyday like joining clubs or doing sports..my main point is just keep your whole time OCCUPIED so you won't think when you are bored and spacing out..trust me it works because this kinda situation happened to me before for thinking about someone that much.Just don't do things like cutting yourself its really not worth it.=] hope that helps you a bit
- PEGGY SLv 71 decade ago
You are experiencing what every young girl does when she has her first huge crush, only you went overboard and got into trouble, and caused yourself even more heartbreak. You are too young to even know what love is. I know that it is probably the strongest feeling that you have ever felt for anyone, but what you are describing does not even come close to love. You will have other bfs and you will meet a guy one day that you will truly fall in love with. Just enjoy yourself for now.
I would bet that you over react to other things in your life too. You need to calm down. You are crying wolf for no good reason. Hurting yourself will not make anything better. Don't set yourself up for more pain by thinking that he will come back to you. You will probably be disappointed, but someone else will take his place eventually, I promise.
If you continue to feel this way, ask your parents to get you some therapy.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
I feel sorry for you. I just turned 14, so dont feel like your talking to some old guy who cant understand you. But let me get one thing straight.
DRUGS DO NOT HELP!
They only make things worse, so for starters stop that.
second dont cut yourself, there are other ways of escaping pain, and you dont want those scars for the rest of your life.
Try listening to music, playing music, writing. those things can help you to get your thoughts out and calm you down.
Continue crying if that helps, it usually does.
I think you should go to your parents again, keep pestering and pestering girl! If they wont help then they are not respeonsible parents. They should be able to see what this is doing to you. If they just won't listen try oing a temporary runner, if you dont have money borrow some of your parents. fly to florida (is that where he is, soz) then call them and explain your reasons for doing this. Hopefully this will work things out.
Another thing. Even if you werent thinking of this...
DONT COMMIT SUICIDE!
No matter what bad-mouthing you get here, no matter what people say. Please hold yourself together. Just take a week off doing anything. And if anything I have said offened you please, dont be, i couldn't live on if i knew i had pushed someone to breaking point.
Your story almost had me crying, seriously. Please dont harm yourself. Just calm down and think through your options rationally. Try going to school and ignoring anything outside of it, concentrate hard on the work to help get your mind off other things. It will make you feel free and fresh, een though you might not think school will not help.
Okay i hope that helped. Even though i've neve met you or ever heard about you before, I truly deeply hope things turn out for you. I DO NOT think you are pathetic because what is happening to you would be very hard and painful. Ignore any mean comments on here. Dont think im just an australian freak.
Good Luck with all my heart!
I hope it works out for you with this boy, but even if it doesn't please stay strong and live your life happily!
Jacko xoxSource(s): deep thought (sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes or strangley missing words like 'and')
- 1 decade ago
You are a typical loser where u think falling in love with a guy is the best thing that will happen to you. I think there is a mismatch between your personality and environment.
Bottomline is thank God at the end of day for the good and bad things that happened to you.
- ♥MemouriLv 51 decade ago
long story but didnt took long to read,well then...i think that he said sorry to you was because you dont see each other anymore and was confused if he still loves you or not.. but if you get back to Florida be sure to talk things out to him and if he still says that he doesnt love you anymore then you should move on.. dont ruin your life.. you still have a future and chance to change yourself.. you should be thankful being able to love and was being loved by someone.. time really changes many things.. still dont be so selfish.. your mom and stepdad cares about you that was why they want to move to other state.. dont be selfish thinking always of yourself.. you should consider how they feel when you cut yourself, when you used drugs..etc..Source(s): dont waste your life or Jigsaw might kidnap you and have a game..lol (you will understand if you watch movie Saw)
- Anonymous1 decade ago
I'm just answering to get points