Anonymous asked in Politics & GovernmentLaw & Ethics · 1 decade ago

What would be a legal/tactful method of getting an ex spouse to quit meddling in our financial affairs?

I am not sure who I should ask this question~~maybe legal advice?

My husband's retired from the military. He gets a certain amount per month. Even though his child turned 18 last month, he's still paying the same amount to his ex wife, and she's (we're told) sending this money to him (an allotment). The ex contacted my husband, telling him that she called the number, through the military, to have direct deposit set up so that she would no longer need to receive them via snail mail. However, she posed as his current spouse and provided the clerk with his SSN to have dir dep set up. His original intent was to continue with the amount of $350. She had it changed to $700. She consulted him about this after she had this done. ***Are you seeing where I am going with this?*** Now, he called me this morning to tell me about this. I was so furious I almost came unglued. Reasons are obvious.

My question is this: What is the best way to stop her meddling in our financial affairs?


Terry~~The allotment of $350 was already being electronically taken out of his retirement and sent to her by mail. I don't know if you got that part. Also, whether or not she posed as his spouse is anyone's guess, but my thought is that one would need to for the electronic modification to take place, correct? I just want to be absolutely positive that she committed a crime before I go ahead and ruffle her feathers by reporting her. I guess I need further advice. Thanks for the input :)

Update 2:

Kellande~~I had to jump to yours and comment. Fascinating! I don't know enough about the military to even assume that my husband could be lying. I never called that number. Never had to. I married my husband the year he retired and I never needed to consult with any military personnel about anything. My husband takes care of the phone calls with tri-care and with this~~the current topic of discussion. Common sense is common sense, but I met his ex and my husband's description fit her tightly. It very well may be that he's making up this whole story. I don't put anything past anyone. I've seen it all. My husband is no exception. This is why I need to be sure that should I report her, that she really committed a crime.

8 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    Interesting - since pay changes are done primarily thru MyPay and spouses (current or ex) don't have the authority or the ability to change amounts of allotments, or where they are sent. Doesn't matter if they have the SSN or not.

    Your husband needs to fix this. If the son is still entitled to money, your husband should set up a firect deposit/allotment in the amount the court ordered.

    I think there is a very, very good possibility your husband is not being completely upfront with you about how this happened, though. Maybe he agreed to the increase, and instead of making you mad, made up this preposterous story about his ex calling the finance office.

    Source(s): 20+ years of military experience -- and common sense.
  • The best way?

    Well, she defrauded the government by representing herself as an authorized party to make changes to his financial affairs. That is illegal. And I would let the government know about this.

    I also think that your husband needs to speak to her. Obviously, he is allowing the meddling to continue. It is his responsibility to tell her to stay out of your finances. If he isn't willing, I think I would do the legal action and see what happens.

    I am sure that you all enjoy an amicable relationship, and you don't want to rock the boat. But she is walking all over the both of you. Maybe you could speak to her and explain the situation, and tell her how illegal it was what she did. But I have a feeling that wouldn't matter to her. I think the smack of a criminal charge might be something that wakes her up to the error of her ways.

  • cadle
    Lv 4
    3 years ago

    this is not proper if she represented herself through fact the "modern spouse" or ex - this is irrelivant to the situation. the only way she would have it upped to seven hundred is that if there is an unique courtroom order for help for that quantity and he or she and your husband had a verbal association to easily deliver one million/2. newborn help is obviously persevering with mutually as the newborn remains in college (the two HS or persevering with training) -that being the case - she has each actual to request the quantity interior the courtroom order - AND set it up for direct deposit if she so chooses. that may no longer what you prefer to pay attention yet, in certainty - she has rights to appreciate approximately your husband's funds and enforce the completed volume till such time as newborn help is stopped completely, and there is no longer something you're able to do approximately it. through fact that he's interior the protection stress, you are able to no longer pass to courtroom to have the help order adjusted for much less, as protection stress pay has set regulations on gross revenues/help quantities.

  • 1 decade ago

    You definately need to convince your boyfriend to phone a lawyer right away. This woman is using FRAUD methods to STEAL HIS MONEY. I would drop tact and go for the punch. If you don't make a strong stand now, she will be meddling in your affairs for many years to come.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Report her to the court, get a lawyer and send her to jail. A friend also try to go to the court office get info on my ex-husband and get all info on me and previous wives. I broke with her but I know it is against the law

  • 1 decade ago

    Not sure about US law, but in the UK we would just get a solicitor to send a "P off" letter, or else you are in court

    No mucking about if you are being mucked about

    Harsh justice and all that

    I would never put up with such nonesence


  • 1 decade ago

    i am surprised she actually got away with that!!! you need to go to where she "posed as his spouse", and expose her, it sounds like your husband wants to continue "support", but what she did is very wrong, it may be better if you both go, then she cannot blame either of you for turning her in (so to speak) you are not obliged or owe her anything, even an explanation, good luck

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    If he wants to report her, she committed a federal crime, and could get jail time by misrepresenting him in order to get money wired from his bank to hers. However, the question is - will he report her to the police? That's what he SHOULD do.

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