Of course you may oh Mighty Lord. Anything as long as you don't perform the cruciatus curse on me. But by all means use it on my family - my little brother could do with some discipline!
1. I'm afraid that if I ever came face to face with Peter Pettigrew then the only words coming out of my mouth would be "Avada" and "Kedavra". That's all the little slimeball deserves.
2. You mean diddlewats are nonsense?? Somehow I don't think so. I have a pet diddlewat you know and they're not all that bad so I don't need protecting from thank you very much Luna. However, if you have a vibrating furry wristband that will protect me against Crumple-Horned Snorkacks then I will give you 3 galleons for it! Don't trust what The Quibbler says - they're not rare at all. I've seen seven in the past month turning my garden completely upside down looking for gnomes.
3. Well, I think I may be in the minority here but I think Luna has a higher IQ. She is, after all in Ravenclaw yet Hermione isn't. And you could say that it is purely because of Hermione's choice that she is in Gryffindor but you have to admit that intelligence is and always has been the top priority for Hermione so I'm sure that, had she been given the choice to be in Ravenclaw she would have accepted. This just proves that she isn't good enough. Even though she comes top of the year in every subject (except for DADA and Divination), Luna could if she tried - she is just wise enough to realise that grades don't really matter. In fact, I would even say that Luna could just be humouring Hermione by letting her come top of the year.
4. Well of course it is Honeyduke's best chocolate. I am not a big fan of sweets, although I may occasionally sample the odd Bertie Botts, but I absolutely adore chocolate. Why do you think I put up with these stupid anti-dementor classes? Hitting my head on the cold, stone floor every time I faint is a small price to pay for a bar of that yummy chocolate.....
5. Well as I am no good at advice, I'm afraid I would have to resort to a memory charm. One blast from my wand (although there is a slight chance of injury from the impact of the spell) would wipe their mind of all thoughts of their Muggle-lover. In fact, I know a pureblood that would only be too happy to meet them - so they won't get lonely form being without their precious Muggle. Problem solved, without having to give sympathetic advice!