Fereshte asked in Social ScienceGender Studies · 1 decade ago

Why do SOME ppl have problems with promiscuous women?

I know that there are a lot of labels for women who sleep around but I would like to think that this day in age those labels hold no real weight. Do you think that if a woman chooses to sleep around (for enjoyment's sake, not self-validation), she is no longer seen in a negative light?

I specify women because it is pretty well known that if a guy gets laid he (usually) gets a slap on the back while in the past others mutter "wh0re" under the breath at the woman.

But if my hopes are a bit idealistic, why do you think people have problems with promiscuous women? Why do people even care?

*sex between consenting adults--just thought I'd add that*


EDIT-- I agree that it does seem to be women who call other women these names, but I've also seen men do it too. Like, after they had a fling with the girl, they get together and laugh about it, saying she's a s lut who will sleep with anything (even if its not the case). And when I point out that THEY slept with her, they shrug and say "It's different." But its not really, is it?

Update 2:

Steve-O-- I see your point. I usually think that sleeping around for self-validation (such as for attention, to "feel loved" or because she has issues with her self-esteem) is not a healthy mindset. However, I'll stand corrected and say that if a woman want to sleep around, no matter what the reason, I should not judge.

23 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I, too, believe that women have a right to be promiscuous....if it's ok for guys, then it should be ok for us girls. I was raised that I should wait for marriage (didn't) and you would not believe the crap I get when others find out that I'm not raising my daughters that way.....why can't they discover what they like in a man sexually? MANY men in the 1950's had mistresses' on the side...most who had virgins for wives. Of course, I don't want my daughters to have sex until they are old enough to understand all that comes with it, but I REFUSE to teach them to wait for marriage. As long as they use condoms...it's their body and their choices to make. When they are ready for marriage, they need to be sure that they'll be satisfied in EVERY way.

    SOME Men make remarks about promiscuous women because they hate the thought of being compared to anyone else & feeling like they might not "measure up"...it's all about insecurity for them. SOME Women who make remarks about promiscuous women are just jealous. No matter what they claim on the outside, inside they are seething with jealousy...especially the ones that waited for marriage and are stuck with some man that turned out to be a poor lover...even by inexperienced standards.

    Khankrum...How in the world does being promiscuous determine your motherly/wifely abilities? I would imagine a promiscious women would make a much better wife once she decides to settle down with one man...she'll have no regrets, no desire to experience anything else, for she already has, and the one man she does decide to marry should be proud that of all the men she has been with, she chose HIM to be faithful to? I think it's the women who didn't have more than one lover before marriage are the ones more likely to cheat. Also, being a good mother doesn't require that you have had only one lover either...in fact, I know PLENTY of women who "played the field" when they were younger, only to settle down and become top-notch mothers and wives. A woman's sexuality has NOTHING to do with how well a mother she'd make. I'm sorry, but your logic is closed-minded. Too bad closed minds don't come with closed mouths.

    Live and Let Live!

    Source(s): BTW, isn't it that men always said "Why buy the cow when you could get the milk for free?" Now the women are saying "Why buy the whole pig when you can get the sausage for free?"
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I love promiscuous women!

    I have more chance of sex for a start and she will probably be more exciting in bed as she has experience.

    So yes I love promiscuous women; but I don't care a bit about them as a person, I don't care much about their feelings even though when I stop to think why a women would act in this way I might feel a pang of pitty.

    Please don't misunderstand me I am not saying I am right to think,sorry to feel this way but I wouldn't want to have a serious relationship with her.

    How could you trust her?

    How could you rely on her?

    How could you serious consider settling down with such a person unless you want trouble.

    Yes I love a promiscuous women I just would never LOVE one.

    If the girl is living her life the way she really wants, well then thats my problem not hers.

    But to be honest in my experence women like this have problems and being a male I am going to take advantage, not nice but a fact of life!

    P.s People will always judge it's human nature don't you think?

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Some people use the biological argument. I've also heard some guys say that promiscuous women are desperate or shameless. They think she will do anything that walks, which is NOT true. Promiscuous women are still picky and need to be sexually attracted to the person that they choose to have sex with. I don't know any promiscuous woman that would happily have sex with someone that looks like Chris Farley (unless they're getting paid).

    There are guys who hate on promiscuous women. It's not just girls. It's either due to jealousy or it's just something that they're not used to. I think SOME guys (especially those from conservative cultures) are just naturally protective of female sexual activity.

    In cultures where female virginity is highly valued, women who dare have pre-marital sex with one person are seen as breaking cultural barriers and are seen no different than prostitutes.

    I don't care, as long as people are safe, consenting and nobody is getting hurt.

    JoeShmoe-Maybe most mainstream Western men don't have a problem, but most East Indian/Pakistani/Bangladeshi men don't like their women to be promiscuous. A promiscuous Indian girl is going to have a very hard time getting married in the community. Why? Because an Indian guy is too insecure and disgusted to deal with a wife who's that experienced. My ex bf (an Indian) told me that I was desperate for initiating casual sex. He said guys are only supposed to do that, and girls who do that are desperate and that it's very wrong.

  • 1 decade ago

    It is only my business when sex with numerous partners spreads disease like herpes and aids and creates babies that have the disease. If those things didn't exist and women were 100% able to contracept so there would be no last ditch contraception in abortion, I wouldn't care at all how many one night stands some 25 year old is having.

    I was around when "free love" made its debut and when the mantra, "Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll" was popularized. Planned Parenthood was established and began giving advice, access to birth control and abortion help when I was a young woman. All of that was foreign to my mother's generation.

    I shook my head at what I saw happening in high schools when I was a young mother and a teacher. Sex was entertainment in the same way that going to a movie is entertainment. Call me old-fashioned but I think sex is more than that. I would hope for their own sakes that women would be selective because they can become diseased, they can bear ill children and they may become single parents before they are ready.

    I think women are held to higher standards as the keepers of our human progeny. Men can hit and run. Women have to stay at the scene of the accident.

    C. :)

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  • 1 decade ago

    There's a value judgment in the question: women can sleep around "for enjoyment" but not for "self validation." Why not?

    I think that your value statement gets at the heart of the issue. People have set themselves up as the judges of the sexual lives of others, sometimes even as they try to question the judgments that others make.

    So you're saying that it's o.k. for women to sleep around for some reasons, but not o.k. for others. Those are the same sort of judgments that other people are making too. The problem is that different people will hold different standards as to what constitutes pleasure, and what constitutes validation.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I think one of the reasons is that dudes always want to believe that we were if not the only guy, one of the only guys. Its why talking about past men is a bad idea, guys will hardly ever be ok with it.

    Its a good question, and that issue will either get better or worse depending on if the world falls back into ignorance or opens up into personal freedoms.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Good point.

    Religion and social tradition have always shown such women through a negative light. Women weren't suppose to have liberty....epically sexual liberty. Hence...those ideals have remained in our society.

    Also, people believe that your sex life, or the lack of it, defines your personality. Well, as my motto goes : Don't assume anything. Experience tells me that religious people can be just as bad as the KKK. I've met Atheists that are generous to many. Same way, sex is just expression. Not a sign of how much morality one has.

  • 1 decade ago

    By people, you mean women. Most men have no problems with promiscous women. Women have problems with promiscuous women for the same reasons that unions have problems with workers that cross picket lines. Women want to show a united front. That way they can get the most from men for their goods. When a woman is giving it away for nothing, it devalues their product.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    The reason some men have a problem with slutty women is because women don't seem to understand the importance of fidelity to men. While men are excited by promiscuous women, because they appeal to basic male desires, men generally don't want to marry/keep promiscuous women (there are some exceptions) because they don't feel they can trust them to be faithful. How can he trust her around his friends? How can he know his child is his? How can he be sure she won't give him a disease? A woman sometimes has to walk a fine line between being seen as a prude or being seen as a slut.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    The only people i've met who have a problem with promiscuous women are other women who are jealous because she's getting lots of men.

    Lol, think about it, were men, we hope and pray for easy going open women, why would we have a problem with a woman who has no qualms about sleeping around?

    I think people will make up any name to insult people, no matter what you do, S*lut and W*hore are no different than N i g g e r or nerd or geek.

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