I've decided to trim the ugly white borders off of all of the cards in my Geek's baseball card collection
*Rookie cards - evil mustaches
*Gold cards - clown hair
*Barry Bonds "Home Run History" cards - big hairy balls (since I'm sure he's missing them about now)
*Derek Jeter cards - Boobs (All Yankee cards get boobs... Derek just looks the prettiest)
Do you think he'll love me more?