Open marriage and 3 way relationship.?

Let me start out with saying that I am going on my 4th year of marriage to my husband. I will not lie and say it is a happy marriage it has been extremely rocky since the beginning. We knew each other 3 months before we got married and when we do actually sit down and talk we realize now that we completely rushed things and had no connection together other than honestly sex (although that is almost nonexistent now). He proposed the "open" marriage to me in December,2007 as a means to make me happy. I am a very sexual person and he cant keep up. I have not went out and found anyone or am I that interested but it leads me to the next part. I have fell in for someone else actually 2 someones a husband and wife. I have not met them but have known them for 3 years through the games we play online. We talk everyday and I am actually going to see them in canada in 5 months. Should I be weary of the situation or take it a day at a time in a new 3way realtionship that I have never done before?

17 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    k let me start out by askin you a question... are u bi-sexual? and are u a jealous person. those are both things that u have to think at about. because if u are bi but youre a jealous person things wont work out. is your husband jealous? is the other couple the jealous type? those are all things u have to think about. in order for that whole thing to work u really need to make sure that everyone is going to be comfortable seein the other person with someone else. ur also gonna have to make sure that he doesnt fall for her or u dont fall for him. theres a lot of things that make this so complicated. make sure that u put a lot of thought into what your thinking on doing. in my opinion i wouldnt completely rule it out but be very cautious about the whole situation and make sure that u keep an open honest relationship with your husband on the topic.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Sexual needs that differ take a toll. If he is truly okay with the open relationship, go for it. Many married couples experiment in swinging. There are different levels. I am guessing that you are able to draw a line between "intimacy" and pure "sex". As long as the agreement is consensual then I see no reason in doing so. I personally have never been the "third" person, but I have many friends that are active in this type of sexuality and their marriage is better because of it. Each individual has their own desires. The fact that he recognizes the difference isn't all bad. Maybe you can be with a woman and have your hubby in the room taking part some how. Even if it is observatory.

    Good Luck to you and have fun :)

  • 1 decade ago

    I am in an open marraige. My wife and I love each other very much and enjoy the pleasures of others. We did not do it to help our marraige or to fix anything. Anyone that thinks it will help your marraige, it's very simple: IT WON'T! It will just tear it apart faster. To be able to have a marraige like this, you must be completely honest with each other and be able to trust each other implicitly, without holding any secrets.

    If you want to do something with the other couple, go ahead, you might have a lot of fun. But be prepared for it to make things worse with your husband.

    Good Luck!

  • 1 decade ago

    It can either bring you closer together or rip you apart. I am in an open marriage and its worked for us. But I have seen more couples break up over it. If you love each otehr and its just routine sex at home and you want to spice it up, then great. If your not happy for otehr reasons having sex with otehrs wont help.

    1st make up fake names to call each other. I became Jamie, he became Scott. Go out of town, go to a bar and dance with others. If oyur ok doing this, move on. If your jealous watching him dance, or he is seeing you, then you shouldnt go futher.

    The reason you make up names and go out of town, is if it doesnt work or if it does, peopel dont know you or how to find you, unless you want them too. It can be fun and it can be a mistake letting peopel too close to you in this little circle.

    Have fun.

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  • Marina
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    You should get out of your marriage before you pursue ANY relationships. You and your husband obviously should not be married, and I think that he has serious self worth issues if he is willing to go along with you doing whatever you want to whomever you want. Give the guy a break, do you both a favor, and end it.

  • 1 decade ago

    Check out a swingers club. It is the safest place for a woman and he won't have to worry about some one sniffing around after hours.

  • 1 decade ago

    Why don't you just get a divorce? It seems you have already left the marriage if you have been talking to this couple for three years.

  • 1 decade ago

    I don't think that starting an "open" marriage ever fixes problems for anyone.

    An open marriage is NOT a quick fix to your problems and in fact if you do start that at such a fragile state in your marriage you are just opening the door for new problems to emerge and most likely divorce

    The people that maintain an open marriage have a very strong marriage to begin with....

    You will regret it

  • 1 decade ago

    I think this is a bad bad idea internet 3way relationships- I smell trouble and believe me I am not faint hearted!

  • 1 decade ago

    Whoa, that whole situation is pretty crazy!!! You are traveling to Canada to see people you've NEVER met before and you think you are in love with them???? I feel for your husband! you need some therapy!

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