Love always seems like such a big thing when one doesn't "have" it, so to speak. Having been on both ends of the spectrum, deleriously in love and so devestatingly miserable that I didn't have it, I can say that some of my happiest moments in my life have been when I have not been "in love", but rather, fortunate enough to have a love affair with myself. I'm talking the delicious enjoyment of being alone and enjoying your own company, not having anyone to answer to and taking the time to explore who you are and the things that you are and what you enjoy. Until you find that, there is no chance of finding "love" because I believe that you need that sense of self completeness.
We all come with our own scars - physical and emotional. I don't have a disfiguring illness, but I do have a physical characteristic that just eats me up sometimes, and I wish I could hide when I'm with strangers but can't. But - I had someone tell me once that it is the things that make us different that are the things that define us. I was very young at the time, and was constantly teased, but that lady's statement always stayed with me. Years later I read a story - and I'm sorry that I don't remember the name or author - about a man who became obsessed about a birthmark on his wife's face. She was perfect in every other way other than this flaw on her face, so he made her a potion that would take it away. She drank it, the birthmark faded, and she died in the end because it was the mark of her soul.
Everyone has pain and loneliness - but no one can bring you up other than yourselves. Start treating your strengths, feeding your soul with the things that make you feel full, be it music, art, fashion. Treat yourself to dinner once a week. Have a bubble bath with piano music and a glass of wine! Little things that make you happy. This is the best time.. because you can focus on YOU and not everyone around you! Start by feeding your confidence and not looking for love - you will be surprised at how people flock to that kind of person. The best part is, if love doesn't come, you are so happy and busy that you realize you don't NEED it.
I wish you all the luck.. and I wish I knew you. Believe that there are many people who believe that beautiful is what is inside.. but YOU need to realize that first.